Elder Scrolls Online Platinum Trophy
67My 300th and final platinum trophy. As some of you might know I have decided that I will retire from trophy hunting indefinitely.
First of all I would like to mention that I’m very grateful for all of the people that I have met on this journey and all of the opportunities that I have been given. Never in a million years did I expect to get so much out of this hobby and I'm glad I was able to pursuit this hobby for such a long time.
Trophy hunting might seem like an innocent small hobby at first, but to me it was just so much more than that. A new way to explore boundaries, to challenge myself and push myself to my absolute limits. All together I have learned a lot of valuable lessons and gained a lot of experience. Looking back I'm very proud of what I have achieved as a person, but I can't really say that I'm proud of the person that I have become.
Honestly there's several factors at play why I'm retiring, but the biggest part is that I have been taking this hobby way too seriously. All the way up to the point it started to affect my mental health in a very negative way. The more time I spent on this hobby, the more my 'standards' started to change with it. Suddenly everything had to be done perfectly and flawlessly. Nothing was ever good enough and I always ended up beating myself up for every mistake I made. It was some cruel form of self-hatred. A perpetual state of agony, pain and misery. Always looking at the negative side of things, which made me develop a very pessimistic and toxic mindset.
As a result I was getting more grumpier by the day, and this also affected my relationships with other people. Looking back I regret some of the things I have said or done. Most of the time I was so busy with my own problems, that I haven't been a particular good friend or team mate. I should have been more engaging, more supportive and more thoughtful. It's definitely the thing I regret the most and if there's anyone that I have offended or rubbed the wrong way, I apologize for that.
In the end I felt like I coudn't even recognize my own self. I have always been a very relaxed, happy and optimistic person. Could always get along with everybody. But slowly but surely that was starting to turn into the opposite. Barely could ever relax or have fun. It's why I decided to pull the plug and focus more on my health. I'd like to become a better person for myself and the people around me.
Funny how the one thing that can make you great, also is the one thing that can bring you down. Talking about a paradox.
But let us not end on a sad note. Quite the contrary though, by sharing this awesome platinum. Will I ever come back? Who knows. Perhaps one day. For now I work on myself and pursuit some other hobbies. But I feel blessed for this journey and will cherish the moments. Thank you everyone and take care!
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