Discussion - The Year of Silence - Plural Point of View / How to Tell Well
1The Year of Silence Notes / Observations
P1 - The writer makes a sense of reported EVENT by a very explicit use of time - Apr X
P1 - Extreme concrete details in the opening - and its all related to sound
P1 - if you're doing a plural pov having a voice to the narrator / plural is still necessary - a voice is a set of tone, colloquialism, and style
P1 - the trasition to 3 feels a little bumpy . - a quick jump to summary from heavy tactile detail
P2 - I like that we're back in the details but the balance between summary and detailed examples feels bumpy
P2 - So we're only a few hundred words in and the author is already ratcheting up the situation - building the momentum
P2 - We have variance of sentence structure - one really long sentence pulling a question out, then followed by two quick questions
P2 - Launching into interiority from scene is a good way to access thoughts etc.
P3 - Using examples - this is a powerful way to make summary feel real and like scene
P3 - Starting a paragraph with long sentences and making them progressively shorter can build a sense of tension and meaning within a paragraph, making the final word pack an extra punch.
P4 - Summary / telling is OKAY - but do it well, try a "highlight reel technique" and still work to have emotion evoked through it. Another tool is concrete lists of things / events in the city.
P4 - note the smooth transition from Summary to a individual moment that has emotional impact and mystery
P5 - Section 8 I'm not in complete love with, it feels like verbal doubling - repeating a sentiment we already know
P5 - When you're doing a speculative concept this piece shows the benefit of thinking through all the angles.
P5-6 - the lion roar to prey animals frames the relationship of noise to danger / risk / hunting.
P6 - Now that we have the goal, this "inexcusable" line is free indirect discourse into the we narrator - shows that there's a PRIDE and PERFECTIONISM behind this goal.
P6 - we've zoomed in from the country to the city - narrowing the "we" down to a smaller group.
P7 - by making his initial "inventions" setup as plausible, the more off the wall innovations he's bringing in, we don't question.
P7 - using lists of events to eventually build into a longer scene - People--to-- a great many --to-- one boy...
P8 - It's always difficult to zoom out into very abstract concepts from a story that's been in the concerete - these transition are the make or break.
P8 - When using concrete details in a narrative summary list, the things you juxtapose can add an enormous amount of context to it. IE We went about our routines, filing tax returns, skydiving, ninja fighting...
P9 - Using a list of concrete details can quickly establish a vivid scene with minimal length requirements.
P9 - When you ARE going to use metaphor or simile, give us a comparison or image we haven't seen before. Don't rely on the same tried images. "The sound of footsteps... was like a horde or crickets scraping their wings together in an empty room."
P9 - The way something is describe by the narrator or otherwise gives the quality of its nature and even can communicate irony.
P9 - We're repeating the "news event" date / time structure to show that a moments change is incoming.
P10 - The transition into telling feels a little too clunky here.
P10 - The use of fragments to describe these commotion sounds makes the noise of the story much more disruptive.