Ganon with One N (a song about common name errors)
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Ganon(dorf) is here to educate you on all the video game names you’ve been mispronouncing. Enjoy!
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LYRICS:
I’ve been thwarted fourteen times
And it always ends the same!
But nothing boils my blood more than
Someone misspelling my name.
It’s Ganon with one N, that’s
One in the center, don’t put
Two in the middle like some wannabe beginner. In the
Very first game they got it wrong, which I hate,
But it’s only been corrected since 1988!
Ganon with one N, it’s
Only five letters, so avoid
That extra consonant and try to spell better
I’m manly and demandin’, so you’d best be understandin’
My name’s G-A-N-O-N, that’s Ganon!
I’m not
Just a Demon King, but a Demonstrative King
Sin, attacks, and syntax are my favorite things.
I’ll smash your home and misspellings like a hammer, then
I’ll kidnap your gram and correct your grammar.
But it doesn’t stop with me, I say it all day long.
Stickerbush Symphony ‘cause “Stickerbrush” is wrong
I’ll clear out your errors like a brainpower bidet.
Ninetales has nine tails but it’s not spelled that way!
Why, you called him Rye-u, don’t deny, you gotta try to
Call him Ryu. Better see you usin’ katakana properly.
Although I oughtta say the popinjay King Dedede, may
Be King Dedede if you reside in western region property.
Speaking of Ryu, let’s talk Ninja Gaiden,
Not “Gayden”, it rhymes with Metal Gear’s Raiden.
That’s Raiden, not “Rayden” since he’s made in Japan, though
Raiden not “Rie-den” is the Mortal Kombat man.
But most importantly…
It’s Ganon with one N, and
No more complications.
(though you can add a “Dorf” per
Formal occasions.)
But not another N except the N in the end, and the
Ending N ain’t inundated with another N!
Ganon with one N, well
Technically two,
But I mean in the middle, you pedantic little shrew, so if you
Dare to put three, then I’ll soon be reprimandin’
That’s why it sounds like “Ganon,” not “GanNNNNNNon!”
I look up to Giygas but he’s not called “Guy-gas”
Zangief—not “Zayn-geef”—has bad phlebitis.
It really divides us when you say he’s “Tie-dus”
Though “Tidus” sounds so stupid it gave me tinnitus.
Final Fantasy has gotta BE truLY the
Main station for mispronunciation vexation. There’s
Yang, Cecil, Rydia, three in one game, then
Yuffie not Yuff-y, and Zidane, not Zi-dayne.
Ifrit not Iff-ritt burns you to a crisp.
This heiress is Aerith. Yeah, it sounds like a lisp.
Faxanadu, Bubble Lead, Vivillon, Arceus,
Lums, Brigitte, Hydrocity, and Zebes,
I’ve had it with correcting every phonic misdemeanor
And for the last time, it’s called an ocarina!
It’s Ganon with one N, I’m not askin’ but commandin’
And in handin’ discipline, I will give your hide a tannin’
If you spell it wrong again, you’ll get a “Gannon-bannin’”
My name’s G-A-N-O-N, that’s Ganon!
And if you weren’t aware, that’s canon!
…With one N!