Insomnia Ramble 21/2/23
14A random vlog about my sleep cycle issues but I'm super tired so there's a big tangent about plants, an even worse false-ending than normal, and ultimately I think the video is just me trying to keep myself awake by talking coz I got up too early and now I'm writing this description during upload in another attempt to not nap today but I really am exhausted; chronic sleep deprivation, interruptions, and other disruptions really suck but I'm trapped in my situation so I'm doing the best I can with what I've got and while I do make mistakes, the root of the problems are not my fault, I just lost the life situation lotto and am constantly too drained to have the capacity to significantly escape and fix it.
As a side note, another example of how sleep deprivation can perpetuate itself is observed in the well-meaning advice that says you need more exercise to sleep well. The trouble with that is... YOU HAVE NO ENERGY so you CANNOT do enough exercise, so you keep sleeping poorly, so you never have enough energy, so you can't do enough exercise, so you can't sleep well, so... This also applies to depression and exercise, which only really works if your depression is mild, otherwise you're so depressed you also have no energy for sufficient exercise so that whole advice is pointless and you're better off working on other aspects of the illness before you build up to that sorta thing, sometimes just getting up to walk to the bathroom is enough of an achievement. Now if you're like me and have BOTH sleep deprivation and depression, you're in for a fun time, especially since poor sleep makes depression that much harder to handle, never mind all these bright eyed gym nuts waving their pompoms in your face before your brain has even had time to remember that functional consciousness is a thing that exists!
P.S. @BDTraining is legit an awesome channel. I found it while looking up tips to help my anxious doggo, didn't really find answers for his specific issues, but the stuff this guy does with other dog problems is super eye-opening and if I ever have the energy for another dog after Hope, I'll be taking a lot of his tips on board.
Yes this video description has turned into it's own massive tangent lol. Like I said, I'm just too tired to stay on track. This is how I'm coping right now and I don't care what you think!
Omg I have no idea how I'm still moving at all some days ugh.
Also thanks YouTube for the super flattering auto-thumbnail lol...
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