random meat incident number 1: first crush

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Published on April 9, 2025 11:32:50 PM ● Video Link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6ay6ftO3ePg

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written in normal meat English, for practicality and to make for an easier read — story continues in the comments
It is December 2012. I am in 6th grade. I am 12 years-old. /// In English class we are all seated in groups of fours — that being 4 regular school desks pushed together, two people on one side, two on the other. I of course had had small crushes on girls before, but nothing serious. Nothing beyond getting nervous around pretty girls. This was the first time I’d ever really felt something for a girl. Of course this is at the age where you don’t even know why you like someone, where you couldn’t describe the feeling if you were asked to, you just know you have a very intense fondness for this person. You just know you want to be closer to them and it is pure. My mind hadn’t been rotted out yet and I was still capable of feeling a desire like that for anyone. I was still seeing meat as people, rather than just the meat we really are. Anyway — she (we’ll call her Dana) sat across from me in our group of 4. Her best friend (we’ll call her Amy) sat next to her. I don’t recall who sat next to me. She (at the time) was the prettiest girl I’d ever seen. And she’d actually converse with me too. I tried to not act nervous, but in retrospect, I’m sure she could tell. So that was essentially that for a few months. Two days before our winter break (which was 2 weeks long), Dana was absent, and I decided to ask Amy for some advice. I confided in her how I was feeling about Dana and what she thought I should do. She said I should just be honest and tell her how I felt. That gave me some confidence and comfort, seeing as this was coming from Dana’s best friend, so I decided that the next day, I would confess. The day is here, the day before winter break, and I am a nervous, shaky wreck. The couple classes before English, I couldn’t focus on anything besides what I was preparing to do. Luckily for me, whoever sat next to me was absent that day, so that gave me more comfort, knowing it’d only be Dana and Amy, along with knowing Amy already knew what was going to happen. Since it’s the day before a long break, there’s no assignments or actual teaching going on — it’s a totally free period. After getting settled in and chatting for a little while, I decide I’m doing this. I don’t remember exactly how I led into it, but I did confess. After my spiel, to my utter and total shock, she said she liked me too. I couldn’t believe it. My heart had probably never beat this fast (well, not over a good thing happening, good things never happened). Since our break started the next day, she offered me her home phone number so we could keep in touch over break (we didn’t have iPhones, I never had one until I was 19). This was the happiest I’d ever been in my whole (short) life. Later that evening, I called her, bursting with excitement. She didn’t pick up, but I wasn’t upset — because why would I be? I’d just had the best day ever. The next day, I tried calling again, and again, no answer. I felt disappointed but made excuses to myself why she may not be answering (busy, out with family (it was Christmas-time after all), etc.). I waited a few days then tried again — no answer. I tried one last time a few days before the break was over, nothing again. But, still feeling happy and hopeful, I decided to get her a gift — to give to her our first day back. My mother, sister, and I were in Kohl’s one day over the break, and I had some pocket money with me. I looked at the jewelry and found a necklace I thought she’d like. I bought it, and when I got home I put it in a little Christmas gift-bag, and even put tissue paper in it like a real present. Even though I didn’t get to talk to her over break, I just couldn’t wait to give her her necklace. I really wanted to try for her. This was my first time experiencing anything of this sort and I wanted to make it special, and try and make her happy. Now it is January 2013. The first day back after winter break. At our school, if you showed up before school officially started, you went and waited in the auditorium. I got to school with her gift, found a spot in the auditorium to sit, and waited. And there she was — and I was so happy. My mind was flushed with the most intense bliss, the purest joy, ecstasy. She smiled and came and sat next to me. Amy shortly arrived and sat next to Dana. I took out my gift for Dana and gave it to her. She didn’t say anything. She didn’t smile. She didn’t frown. She didn’t open it. She looked at Amy, and they both started laughing. Laughing, clearly, at me. I’d in an instant gone from the happiest I’d ever been, to the most confused. Why are they laughing? What’s wrong? What’s happening? They stood up together, Dana sat the gift, unopened, on the ground, then looked at me, still laughing, and said, “Did you really think I liked your dumbass?” They then turned and walked away, leaving the auditorium. continued in comments