160th Abstract Distract: Facing A Reality (please read the description)
76This is the moment you realize you need to make more equitable revenue in order to keep doing this, even as a “hobby”, regardless how much of an unnecessarily mountainous workload you still have left to do. Personally, I’d rather just make some shorter videos again but my worrywart conscience, corrupt with anger, frustration and guilt, badgers me to continue these projects. And my overbearing muse (sense of creative writing), corrupt with anger, frustration and perfectionism, won’t stop making me add more time, effort and exact versions of characters/objects, even though they don’t exist in gmod unless I try doing something about it.
Muse: That’s not GOOD ENOUGH! You MUST add more! MORE explanation! MORE scenes! MORE sound effects! MORE animations! MORE poses! It’s just not enough! EVERYTHING must be exact! EXACT poses! EXACT sound effects! EXACT models (and if there isn’t any, MAKE THEM)! I don’t CARE how long it takes! EVERYTHING must be PERFECT!
Conscience: Finish them for your friends! Finish them for the collab contributors! Finish them for your voice actors! Finish them for subscribers! Finish them to finally free up space in your hard drive that’s been dormant for YEARS! Finish them before you DIE IN REAL LIFE…or before you friends and other people involved in your videos die in real life, otherwise the projects will mean nothing anymore, must be cancelled and you’ll have wasted years of work for NOTHING! Finish them NOW!!
Worst part is, I consider them to be the same being…of myself.
Of course, there’s also Shallowframe; embodiment of my slacking and habits I’d rather not discuss, that has me hanging out to waste time doing anything BUT my work. It’s especially because with all these projects I still have to do, contrasted by me wanting to make shorter simpler videos (or make hexed models, which are also anything but short or simple to do, especially if they’re necessary to my projects), which tear me up to not wanting to work on anything.
Heck, even wanting to make unprofitable pictures on deviantart just for fun riles up my muse to put an unneeded time-consuming amount of effort into them.
With that two-in-one side of me (along with Hollowframe and Shallowframe) fighting over myself, dropping hundreds of F-bombs and GDs over virtually every single mistake, setback, inconvenience and anything else time-consuming, while on the laptop or not, none of them realize well enough (if at all) that I don’t have suitable RPM to leave my channel inactive as it has been. I get no support on Patreon because I won’t give rewards to people who’d contribute to me there (it’s like I’d have to give money to people who’d send me the same amount of money, meaning I wouldn’t have anything at all if I tried), nobody’s been tipping me on Gawkbox and I’d rather not fine people to subscribe to me on vid.me. The advertising revenue through my YouTube partnership with BroadBandTV is all I have to work with and it’s reaching an all-time low. This was the amount I was making two years ago, when I’m supposed to be climbing UP the latter of success but now it’s been sawed off and I’m going back to where I started out; poor (as a YouTubber, not as...myself?). So, I want to make a few more short, hopefully profitable videos before I decide to resume these projects. Or maybe people out there could actually start donating to me on those other websites. In any case, I’m currently sunk, like someone still paddling regardless that his boat is still leaking.
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~ Music: Losing Horns from The Price Is Right
~ Map: gm_pillars
~ Models
- Hollowframe
- Nightmare Freddy
~ Miscellaneous
- sounddogs
- Five Nights at Freddy’s franchise
- Whose Line is it Anyway?
- Press Your Luck
- Inspiration from TheInvertedShadow and Witchy gmod (I don’t think subscribing to them would hurt)
- Doctor Who
- whatever else
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Please watch: "Talking about TubeBuddy (how it can help YouTubers' channels become better)"
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xRTyz9CZyD4
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