7 Non-Swimmers Whose Worst Enemy Is Water
20,858If humans were meant to swim, we'd have flippers, gills and, ideally, inflatable air bladders. This goes some but not all of the way to explaining how games heroes like Master Chief, Claude from GTA 3, Altair and John Marston react so poorly when they come into contact with water. Subscribe to Outside Xbox for a weekly list: http://www.tinyurl.com/SubToOxbox
When Claude of Grand Theft Auto 3 fame came to Liberty City, his deadliest nemesis turned out to be not a Mafia boss or Yakuza hitman but the Humboldt River itself, snaking around the city like a big wet minefield.
It appears Claude was too busy doing crimes to earn his 200m swimming badge, because if you tip him into the drink he's wasted faster than a submarine with a screen door.
Red Dead Redemption's John Marston is only slightly more resistant to large bodies of water. You can safely wade him out into the San Luis River and he'll stand there, mouth and nose submerged, with no harm done except the moist cowboy boots.
Take one step too far though and it's adios amigo, hola watery grave. From this we can deduce John Marston breathes through his hat.
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