A Desktop Dungeons Poem
3Normal upload schedule will return shortly, as short as Plo Koon's brilliant spark of life in this world. I'd breathe in his gas mask.
A List Of The Words
If I'm going to hold a cracking party the desktop isn't my usual go-to place
All it features is shortcuts to work
Saying that it's best not to lurk
After all the pornography remains hidden for jerk-
Offs...but a desktop on my dungeon sounds like opening tenebrific gates
To a bunch of violent satanic berks
I guess sorting some files out has its perks
But how can I cope with dungeons when I don't even have a folder for my armourplates?
Looking after the folks of Kingdom insert witty name, I dunno Mike?
Needy buggers went and popped domiciles
Right on top of demonic goat kitchen tiles
Which really pisses in their conveniently littered potion vials
An eclectic collection of heroes has been employed for this fight
I mean have a gander at their files
Arseholes, belends and midgits with no style
Just examine this magically inclined gentleman; they even have a Rincewind look-alike!
You'd think dungeons would involve a lot of monster spanking
It's how rpgs are usually fated
Yet this one isn't esrb rated
Maybe the spanking is DLC gated
Instead Desktop Dungeons delivers progression through mathematical puzzle wrangling
turn based combat algorithm generated
It's a vicious sudoku for the money sated
Even the Vampires have taken up premier banking!
Each dungeon provides new scenarios for evil to imprecate
Randomly generated puzzles with fireballs
Overcome with your brain thing, arithmetic and gaul
Unless your only glyph given is an ENDISWAL
Mystera Annur save us all
A compact experience fit for any bloke's coffee break
Except I don't drink coffee, don't follow that cabal
In fact I find the blood of Super Meat Boy is best for form
And coping with Missclicks, which tend to cause me to verbally defecate
I'm not going to lie, horrifically bad describes my dungeonining skill
Best to leave the thinking to the Tinkers
No not those lads, bloody shitty wizards
And especially not the goatperson, no that wasn't misheard
The game had a naff trailer, and the interface makes flash games look frilled
But make no mistake it's complex,a real thinker
One false move can send your hobbit down the shitter
Yet you'll want to persist and continue, for the Kingdom of Mike you will
Do not feed the Goatperson dill.