Action 52: A.I. Onslaught

Channel:

Face Destroyer Inc.

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Published on April 11, 2024 9:26:46 AM ● Video Link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bQmibj1WxjI

Game:

Action 52 (1991)

Duration: 6:04

3,122 views

190

little gift for everyone's continued support. made almost entirely with Ai and the transcript from the original review. enjoy.

here's the transcript:
Make your selection. Now I'm going to warn you guys right now this game is really starting to fucking piss me off. There is not one good fucking game on this entire fucking collection. I have played through each and every one of these, and the ones that actually work are not fucking good at all. They're horrible. I cannot even fucking believe this. All right, the game we're going to be playing next is called non-human. And this game scares the fuck out of me. What the hell is this? What is my character supposed to be? Is that a purple abyss of green Elton John heads? I'm looking at that I'm about to fall into. What the fuck is this? I mean, I feel like I'm going to fucking puke. What is this? Tell me please. What is my character supposed to be? Might as well fucking jump into the Elton John abyss. Beethoven, you fuck. I cannot even fucking believe this shit. This game makes me want to die. Unfucking believable. How the fuck did this make it to retail? This makes me want to fucking puke 52 times. This game should have came with 52 fucking barf bags. I mean, none of this makes any sense. Fucking. Will you tell me what I'm supposed to do? Will you tell me what the fuck I'm looking at here? What is this? Am I a pink lobster? Am I shooting out boogers? Is that what that is? Tell me. Because I don't know. I'm in the fucking dark here. Alright? What the fuck? I guess, am I not supposed to kill this enemy because my fucking boogers are going right through him? What is this? Why can't I kill this motherfucker? Unfucking believable. Spread fire! You better get the fuck off my screen! Get the fuck off my screen! Spread fire! You're pissing me off! You're about to get your ass kicked. Get the fuck off! That's why I fucking thought. That's the whole point. Go up because you don't have any offensive weaponry. You can't attack. Look at this. You see, I collected that money. That little unhappy face that appeared. Watch this shit. I fucking dodged this enemy. Go up here. Fucking. Don't even bother getting that bunny. You can't even pick it up. Look at this shit. The money just fucking killed me. Why? Why did the money kill me? I fucking trusted you. Money. I mean, holy fucking shit. If you can't trust money, what the fuck can you trust? I mean, I feel like this fucking menu is gonna fucking kill me. I feel like I better fucking pick a game fucking quick because the fucking menu is gonna murder my ass. Let's play mahjong. It sounds like a fucking STD. What the fuck is this? What am I supposed to do? Let's go up. Let's try going up. Going up kills you. So let's recap. Elton John kills you, money kills you. And now going up kills you. Am I allowed to do fucking anything? Action 52. Are you going to kill me on everything I do? You motherfucker! I'm about to beat your ass. Jesus Christ. Oh, let's play bubble gum, Rosie. Or in the title, he spelled it Rossy for some fucking reason. Look at this shit. I feel fucking gay just playing this shit. Unfucking believable. Man. What the fuck is this? Oops. Fell onto the spikes. That don't even fucking hurt me. Unfucking believable, man. Fucking disaster. Just fucking kill me now, motherfucker. Man. Unfucking believable. Well, let's fall into these spikes up here. The last spikes didn't hurt me. So these shooting, right? Wrong, Rob. More death await you. Surprise! Elton John's hand didn't come out of the screen and bash me in the face with a fucking money bag. This is unfucking believable. Oh my God. And so I fucking start the level over again. I'm thinking, fuck this shit, okay? I'm gonna beat this motherfucking level. I'm not gonna let action 52 win. What the fuck? I'm fucking better than this game, so I fucking make some progress. I'm doing pretty good. I get these fucking horrible controls down. I fucking finally start making some progress that enemies, like, impossible to fucking dodge. So I just hit it. You get two hits in this game, and then I get to this part. An impassable fucking jump. I tried this fucking jump for like, fucking 16 hours. I couldn't fucking do it. I fucking shot myself in the face. But I fucking still lived. They brought me back. I told them, fucking kill me. I don't want to fucking live in a world where they make games with impassable jumps. What the fuck?

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