Game:

Haunted Castle (1987)

Duration: 1:55:10

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And just when I thought it couldn't get much worse. Ok, no, I knew it could get worse. I was dreading one of the games today. One. I was not expecting the other one to disappoint me right off the bat.

Typhoon starts with a behind-the-plane section. A cut-rate After Burner. And I just don't like that style. Your plane obscures oncoming threats, so you can die from things you never see. And that section would have turned me away at the arcade because of it. Which is a shame, because only 3 of the game's stages were that, and they were all short.

However, the opening bit of the helicopter section was absolute trash. Too many things coming at you at once before you get any time to upgrade. It took me a great many tries just to get started. One I did, though, and got some upgrades in me, most of the rest of the game was smooth sailing. Other than a bullet-spongy boss or two. Overall, the game was better than Life Force, but it still wasn't what I consider good.

And then we got to Haunted Castle. This game is a failure. There's no other way to put it. The first quarter I put into this game in arcades would have been the LAST quarter I put into it in arcades. It is beyond punishing. It is the definition of unfair. It is everything Castlevania on NES was not. And I'm only two levels in. This game probably won't topple .Hack//G.U. on the "worst" list (I don't think any game CAN because G.U. is on the list for more reasons than just its own bad gameplay), but Haunted Castle is certainly among the bottom ten. -- Watch live at https://www.twitch.tv/the_nametag

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