Cancelled Playthroughs: A Follow Up
54Okay, so upon getting myself some sleep and reflecting on the whole playthrough queue situation, I've come to some different conclusions.
Firstly, while I do feel overloaded with work, I realize that's not actually true. I've got a part time job, some college courses, a few obligations, and that's about it. So why do I feel so overloaded? Well, after talking with Ghast, I think it's because I'm forcing myself to do things that currently don't hold my interest.
For the past few weeks, my mind's been wandering in directions other than finishing the playthroughs I have queued up for my channel. I still make sure the videos I've been making have good commentary, but I also have a sort of "Let's get this shit out of the way" attitude when doing it.
"But Marc. If you're so disinterested, why are you uploading at all?"
Well, ever since the pledges on my Patreon accumulated into a decent amount of money, I've started to think that maybe this crazy dream of success on YouTube isn't so crazy after all. At the same time, I have it in my head that the only way I'll be able to realize this dream is if I work my ass off and power through even when I'm not enjoying myself. After all, if you upload consistently, people are constantly tuning in to watch you, which means more views, more subscribers, and a higher chance to get more patron pledges.
As I said yesterday however, I'm simply just not wired to routinely make content and finish playthroughs. While there are successful channels that do that, there are plenty that don't as well.
There's also a second reason however. As someone who watches Game Grumps, I understand how frustrating it feels when a Let's Player fails to finish a playthrough. At the same time, I don't feel I have the right to complain if those same complaints apply to me as well. I need to remember however that I'm not perfect, and that the standards I hold myself up to are pretty unreasonable.
So from now on, here's what I'm gonna do. Aside from Ragefest and patreon-related stuff, I'm going to avoid making big commitments on my channel. Obviously I'm still gonna be playing Echoes when it comes out, but if I lose interest, I'm gonna drop that fucker like a rock and move on. If at some point in the future I look like I'm going to repeat this mistake, I invite you all to remind me of this video. YouTube is a passion and a hobby before it is a job.