Christmas Special! Am I Smarter Than 5th Grader?
1'Twas the night before Christmas, and all through the town,
Not a creature was stirring, not even a clown.
The stockings were hung by the chimney with care,
In hopes that St. Nicholas soon would be there.
But little did they know, in the shadows so dark,
Lurked a creature with fangs and a festive red mark.
The townspeople nestled all snug in their beds,
While visions of sugarplums danced in their heads.
When out on the lawn, there arose such a clatter,
They sprang from their beds to see what was the matter.
Away to the window, they flew like a flash,
Tore open the shutters, threw up the sash.
The moon on the breast of the new-fallen snow,
Gave the luster of midday to objects below.
When, what to their wondering eyes should appear,
But a sleigh full of horrors, spreading Christmas fear!
With a skeletal driver so lively and quick,
They knew in a moment, it must be Saint Nick.
More rapid than vultures, his minions they came,
And he cackled and snarled and called them by name:
"Now, Gory! Now, Slasher! Now, Grisly and Freaky!
On, Chomper! On, Ripper! On, Zombify and Creaky!
To the top of the porch! To the top of the wall!
Now dash away, slash away, slash away all!"
As dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly,
When they meet with an obstacle, mount to the sky.
So up to the housetops, the horrors they flew,
With the sleigh full of frights, and old St. Nicholas too.
And then, in a twinkling, they heard on the roof,
The gnashing and slashing of each little hoof.
As they drew in their heads and were turning around,
Down the chimney St. Nicholas came with a bound.
He was dressed all in gore, from his head to his foot,
And his clothes were all tarnished with ashes and soot.
A bundle of screams he had flung on his back,
And he looked like a monster opening his pack.
His eyes, how they glowed! His fangs, how scary!
His cheeks were like roses, his nose like a cherry.
His droll little mouth was drawn up like a bow,
And the beard on his chin was as white as the snow.
The stump of a candy cane held tight in his teeth,
And the blood encircled his head like a wreath.
He had a broad face and a round little belly,
That shook when he laughed, like a bowl full of jelly.
He was monstrous and twisted, a frightful old elf,
And they screamed when they saw him, in spite of themselves.
A wink of his eye and a twist of his head,
Soon gave them to know they had everything to dread.
He spoke not a word, but went straight to his work,
And filled all the stockings, then turned with a jerk.
And laying his finger aside of his nose,
And giving a nod, up the chimney he rose.
He sprang to his sleigh, to his team gave a whistle,
And away they all flew like the down of a thistle.
But they heard him exclaim, 'ere he drove out of sight,
"Happy Christmas to all, and to all a good fright!"