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I'm uploading this mainly for myself, will probably be unlisted later, but today I had to put down one of my dogs, Olive.

For my sisters 10th birthday, 11 years ago, my mother and I rescued two puppies from the pound for her as pets. They were beagle/corgi mixes, one blond and one black, who we named Spanky and Olive.

Olive's condition went from fine to critical in about two weeks. The emergency vet said the word "Hemangiosarcoma," but what we figured is that she likely had a tumor that caused her spleen or kidney to inflame or maybe even burst. Whatever the matter, it was likely even with the best surgeries that she would only have a few painful months left if we did everything we could. While I'm absolutely devastated by the sudden loss of my pet, I find a bit of comfort in knowing that there was very little we could have done to prevent or cure this. It was in no way our fault, and was simply her time to go.

My concern now is for Spanky. Olive was more intelligent and emotional than Spanky, while he is very single-minded and domineering. They would often fight over food for no reason. Despite their differences though, Spanky and Olive rarely ever spent more than an hour apart, were both extremely antisocial towards other dogs, and would freak out when separated.

Now that Olive is gone, I worry about how Spanky will cope with being alone now.
On one hand, he would always fight and growl over food, treats, space and even petting sometimes, none of which he has to share anymore. I always had a theory that this was all performative though, since he would still follow her lead during walks and freak out when she was separated from him. I guess soon we will find out if his hostility was performative or not.
Either way, I know I could have done more to show my love towards my two outdoor dogs. I have three indoor ones as well who get plenty of attention, but now more than ever I will make sure Spanky knows how loved he is.

Rest In Peace Olive Petikas
2012-2023
We already miss you