Emails, Dr. Garrett, February 2021, April 2024, HIV man - triggering (04 28 2024)
0Emails, Dr. Garrett, February 2021, April 2024, HIV man - triggering.
Filmed April 28, 2024.
My Email:
Feb 20, 2021, 8:16 PM
Kelly shared a story about a homosexual man who acquired HIV the first time he had sex. It's very tragic and sad. This man is friends with one of our Fountain House friends. When Kelly told me the story it triggered me. I started to think Kelly is a psychopath who is trying to infect me. I must realize there I go again. Kelly loves me and she was telling me a story about somebody else. It's not a metaphor for her trying to infect me. The topic of HIV is unpleasant and triggering for me.
Dr. Garrett's Email:
Feb 20, 2021, 10:00 PM
Good for you, Andrew. You caught your predicate logic before it got out of hand. Enjoy the peace you achieve by outwitting the predicate logic.
My Email:
Apr 28, 2024, 9:22 AM
The previous two emails were exchanged over three years ago (when I was still dating Kelly). In HINDSIGHT, I feel the HIV man Kelly was describing was meant to be me metaphorically.
Although I wasn't officially a virgin, I was like a virgin with little experience who was described as a "clean baby" in 2019. Although I don't have HIV now - I feel traumatized, defective, and damaged after January 2020. I feel metaphorically HIV positive.
I SUSPECT Kelly conspired with my family - like The Sopranos - to give me an HIV scare over something that took place 20 - 25 years ago. SUSPECT is the keyword for daydreams becoming real. All the clues I see on social media are not a confession that it was premeditated - it's ideas of reference delusions.
As you said three years ago, outwit the "predicate logic." Kelly showed me her bloodwork in 2019. It was clean. She loved me. I loved her. She was not intermittently gaslighting me about HIV. They did not conspire to get me to take PrEP for revenge.
I stepped on something random in NYC and chose to take PrEP against everyone's advice not to.
Interestingly, going with the theme of ideas of reference and predicate logic, you said to me "Good for you." That's one of Olivia Rodrigo's songs. Is the woman I've been socializing with Olivia Rodrigo in disguise? Was EVERYTHING PREMEDITATED? There were no accidents? Now she's going to pull off the mask and say "I'm a pop superstar." Is Oliva Rodrigo my soulmate? This is a double-bookkeeping psychosis joke.
The truth is no one is deceiving me. Accept everything as FACE VALUE!