Final Fantasy VII - Badly Explained
9Final Fantasy VII is an incredibly popular game.
You play as Cloud Strife, a domestic abuser with questionable moral integrity and motivations, who is so maddened by watching his ex being penetrated by another man that he cannot be bothered to use a phoenix down to revive her.
Due to a life of being weak, you pretend to be a SOLDIER and join a resistance group called Avalanche as a mercenary for a few easy jobs and end up having to save the world from your aging friend Sephiroth, who went rogue over his mother issues. To save the world, you cannot be weak, you have to become powerful.
To become more powerful, you have to exploit materia, which is the crystalised essence of the souls flowing through the lifestream. The biggest creators of Materia are the Shinra Corporation who process the Lifestream into Monster energy. Which they call Mako energy to avoid future trademark violations.
Materia gets stronger the more monsters you kill, so the more people and monsters you hack through, the more powerful you get, allowing you to kill even more monsters. Because your actions are justified and the life energy will go back to the planet, you can be a hero whilst being a mass murderer.
Your main nemesis is a manchild with mummy issues, who wants to combine with the lifestream. In order to make the lifestream more tasty, he decides to wipe out most of the life on the planet by spending his pension on a big rock to kill everyone.
The thought of the planet dying saddens everyone, so they band together in order to beat up the pensioner and his mother in order to save the world.
Once you've beaten up your nemesis and saved the world, you are taken to the credits and think to yourself. Wow, one of these heroes actually made a triceratops with tank treads. Then you are taken to a screen that shows the derelict remains of the city of Midgar, and realise that there are no humans left, and the world is safe once more from mankind and all it's flaws.
I will probably do a proper review at some point because I genuinely loved this game. For now though I hope this cheers you up and brightens your day.
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