Glass Apple Bonzai - A Synthwave Song About Suicide [SYNTHWAVE/RETROWAVE]
23Free download:
https://glassapplebonzai.bandcamp.com/album/glass-apple-bonzai-prt-2
Not that I want to get too into my personal life, but while I was dealing with thyroid cancer, I thought about suicide a lot. Not a day went by that it didn't cross my mind. At the worst point, I was 100% certain I was going to do it, but I just didn't know how or when. I know how to shoot, but I refuse to buy a gun for that reason...it's too much responsibility. All I did was tell myself the feeling would pass, and it always did. But I was nearly consumed by my despair.
I was often very depressed and anxious when I had cancer, and I learned to talk myself through it. Having had a near-death experience, I'm not afraid of death like most people are, and I don't blame anyone for checking out early. My opinion isn't popular but I would never fault someone for moving on because life honestly is torture and purgatory for some people. However, after I got the tumor removed, I started to feel better almost instantly, and haven't had any negative thoughts since then. But I'd be lying if I didn't think about it a lot when my health was bad. At 31 I still haven't found my place in this world but at least my health has improved a lot and I'm content again.
Anyway, cool song.