Game:

Puzzle & Dragons (2012)

Duration: 8:57

23 views

2

This is now the future. You're living in the past. Y'heard me!
twitter.com/yuugijoou
discord.gg/bKT9pRW

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What foray into the full breadth of my newfound problem-solving skills would be complete without creating the widest possible range of additionally problematic nonsense possible?

...have mercy on us all.

Wait, no, it's just me. I'm in control here! Mercy is for the weak! No mercy! You clicked this video, you get exactly what you deserve! (Please don't leave me. They're going to turn off the lights and everything...)

For starters, obnoxiously vertical video, hooray! ...because the game is designed around it, so... that's how it is! There are a bunch of these, and sadly enough, that makes it far more palatable to watch the video afterwards on a similar mobile screen rather than a more horizontal one that you'd find for most other YouTube applications.

Quite naturally, I apologize for nothing! ...but mostly because it's entirely out of my hands, so...

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Anyway, among the oldest mobile games that I'm personally willing to claim any involvement or familiarity with is Puzzle & Dragons. It too is definitely a mobile game. A fairly primitive one, at that. This gives it insane device compatibility range, however, and it definitely ran better on my phone that struggled with my Attack the Light project, but... suffice to say that this game's been around for a good long while.

This game embodies so many of the things we take for granted... for better or worse... about the whole "free to play" mobile experience, encouraging players to chase down arbitrarily increasing numbers and the allure of... um... character.jpg 2.1.

It also exemplifies the whole EULA process and installing most of the game's required data after getting started, which is... fun... and totally preserved here for your "enjoyment"!

Thankfully, this game was designed BEFORE the rise of invasive social media connectivity became the de facto standard, so I can just skip that whole step altogether. (No wacky use of throwaway nobody email accounts and gibberish passwords to pixelate for the viewer experience, though! Darn.)

I have absolutely no idea how far-reaching or interesting the choice between these three starter Pocket Dragon Phone Monsters actually is... but I'm going to assume based on everything I've seen before or after that they're actually not all that significant. (They have nice starter abilities for helping beginner players to get acclimated to the game, though... maybe TOO nice and not obvious enough about how and why they are...)