Terroir | Review | A Winemaking Tycoon Game
38What would you do with a million dollars? This is a pretty common question we all ask ourselves.
“I’d pay my debts off”, “I’d travel the world”, and “I’d buy up all of those gold-plated Assassin’s Creed headphones”—all pretty much the usual answers we’d expect.
The one fantasy I’ve often entertained is that I’d buy a vineyard and make wine. I’ve always been fascinated by the process, and bought pretty heavily into the romantic ideal of working the land to create what has become the most pretentious libation since someone decided to describe a Riesling as “piquant”. I’ve had this fantasy since I was in college, but when I learned about the true struggle that is owning and maintaining a wine making operation, I decided to go into a business that seemed like less of a minefield.
Games journalism.
Good call, young Phil. We’re proud of you.
So naturally I’ve hoped for something that would combine my two passions of booze and gaming into something I could really enjoy, and sink my teeth into.
So when Terroir left Early Access in September, I was genuinely excited. A tycoon game that centers around owning a vineyard, raising grapes, and fermenting them into daddy’s favorite grape drink seemed perfect for me: exactly the sort of itch I was hoping to scratch.
Sadly, Terroir isn’t quite there yet.
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Here's what you're going to get at ElConquistadork:
Thought-provoking geek commentary that smells vaguely of gin and smoke. Game reviews and Let's Plays that cover everything from the super indie to the AAA to the "made around 700 years ago" category.
Phil The Conquistadork also maintains a healthy love to interacting with his audiences when they aren't assholes (and sometimes when they are).
What you will not get at ElConquistadork: ugliness (the host's face notwithstanding), drama (the host's bank account notwithstanding), or cat videos.
...Huh? He's put a cat in a few of his videos already? Shit.
......Okay, maybe you'll get a few cat videos.
"Sneak A Little Drinky" written and performed by The Butterscotch Bros: Carlos Avendano and Dan Ross.
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