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Need a good laugh? Check out the petitioners' arguments to the Supreme Court on Prop 8: http://www.supremecourt.gov/oral_arguments/argument_transcripts/12-144a.pdf

I kid you not, the argument against gay marriage presented to the Supreme Court was: "because gays can't have unplanned children."

And here's the transcript of the DOMA oral arguments: http://www.supremecourt.gov/oral_arguments/argument_transcripts/12-307_jnt1.pdf

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Music: "Albino" by Brian Boyko