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God builds one man with the same formula he uses to break ten. No one has the nerve to tell him that he got lucky, he’s God.

I just got off the phone with God, guy’s pissed.

God gives you challenges. When you fail your pride kicks in and carries you out the burning building while trying to tell you about Hanukkah, ‘I still don’t know what you’re talking about dude.’

I heard Heaven got that skee-ball that you don’t even have to pay to play, I’m just hoping that it ain’t only for dead children.

God and I are so close that he lets me call him Yahweh.

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