The Spancake Serenade

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HyperStipherX

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203

Published on September 27, 2014 3:42:34 AM ● Video Link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OqPLr6C9ZFg

Duration: 4:38

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1

I wrote a song for my friends! It an honor and a privilege to perform it for them.


---LYRICS---

Good evening my good people. Spare a moment of your time?
I’m afraid you all must suffer from my most unpleasant rhyme.
I’ve been summoned here before you so that I can sing a song
I guess this isn’t singing. I might be doing this wrong?

Here now this is better I hope I can stay in key
Now I can get started with our honored company.
I guess we’ll start with this one yes the pretty one in white
My goodness she is beautiful she’s quite the beautiful sight!

How well do you know Kristen, she is sharp and she is strong
But I think we all agree she watches too much Teen Mom
And don’t open her freezer, it is bursting to the brim
I think there are some leftovers from your first date with him.

Look upon her smallest finger it is broken it is bent
All thanks to roller derby she has bruises she has dents
Oh no she’s looking blotchy! Is she nervous is she drunk?
And will she laugh childishly when I utter the word junk

Of course she did she’s immature I believe she’s turning red
But you can’t reply to everything with “That’s what SHE said”
You’re married now so act your age do you think life is a game
You’ve got a lot of work maintaining the Spanky Spancake name!

Now you, good sir, it’s only fair to talk about you next
I need to keep this moving since your guests are so perplexed
You seem a very modest man I’ve met some in my life
But never so well mannered they cut soft fish with a knife

You’re an avid supertaster it’s a blessing and a curse
Be it water, milk, or salad, your taste buds are quite diverse
My, you are a tall one, no debating this is true
It must be very difficult to tend the morning dew

The inertia of your day to day must be quite profound
You process tons of data and you do it without a sound
One day, your app will change the world, I hope you hear my words
Nothing says efficient like another Angry Birds!

I’m done with you. I’m going to do you both at the same time
No that isn’t what I meant! I’m referring to this rhyme!
I guess that’s why, I have no doubt, you’re perfect for each other
You both make dirty comments since your minds are in the gutter.

It all began some years ago thanks to the internet.
They laid down a foundation from the moment they first met.
With alcoholic beverages and of course the gift of gab
I guess we know it’s safe to say their first date wasn’t drab

And neither was the second, or the third or fourth or fifth,
I heard they had a bad date once but I’m certain that’s a myth.
He puts away the dishes, she cooks him cherry scones.
She even held the bucket when he passed a kidney stone.

They enjoy their Boardwalk Empire, their Archer and their Louie
They dive right into programming because they’re both screwy.
Sometimes they go for sushi, sometimes it’s French cuisine,
Sometimes they’re out in pubic making too much of a scene.

And then of course the present, “we are gathered here today”
But what about the future? All the time beyond this date?
Perhaps they’re in New Zealand, perhaps it’s Italy.
It’s probably the suburbs but they’re living happily.

I see a nerdy dream home where the dog hogs all the bed
And many slinky babies running everywhere widespread
And even sometime later they when they’re old and they are grey
They’ll still be cracking dirty jokes and laughing every day

So this concludes my singing I am sorry it was so long
But if you were going to take something away from my odd song
It’s my desire that Marc and Kristen live a long and happy life.
And have amazing memories as husband and as wife!