Them's Fightin' Herds -- Paprika Tutorials: Complete Gibberish
8Loud squealing noises!
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Life is like an open picnic basket. Best when shared! Insanity is like the contents of that basket. Eat it alone or dare others to join you, there are benefits to both!
However, no matter what you do, you must always be sure to expect the unexpected and prepare yourself to unravel the enigmas that await... but you can only quietly hope that you have the mental fortitude to weather the storm that's always ready to break and threatens to engulf our earthly senses.
Paprika is that storm. She doesn't just court the madness or bring the insanity... she is one with it. It enriches her as she crashes against her opponent's bastion of mental fortitude, hoping to survive this unfathomable onslaught.
Or something. Paprika is weird. I don't think that's a fighting game character archetype or anything, but it's always good to have a goofball on the roster. Carrying on the grand tradition of just doing odd stuff for... reasons... she shares a lot of traits with the likes of Faust and Teddy, and it's as much the responsibility of the player (allegedly) controlling her to respond to each new unexpected development as it is their opponent's.
If I were to aspire to have a "main" in any fighting game, besides the little question mark in the middle, of course... it'd probably be characters like these. Or at least certain traits like them.
Oh... oh wait... she's a charge input character... ... ... welp, never mind. It was a nice dream! I may have at least evolved my understanding of them beyond pulling a Guile and holding crouching block exclusively as a means of trying to use my special moves... heck, I even expanded this understanding to help me figure out how on earth characters with an "up" directional in their way somewhere, like those 360 directional inputs, can possibly get anything done without jumping... but that doesn't mean that I can naturally work one into my unnatural movements. I'd do a hundred spur of the moment dragon punches on demand before I'd proclaim comfort with buffering an even entire dedicated second of charge without it being the ONLY thing I was doing.
...and she's even got a FORWARD charge?! Now that just screams incompatibility with my capabilities. Besides, what good's a teleport if I have to already be on the offensive to buffer it into my movements... or else be totally defenseless for that entire second in a genre where 99% of all player inclination is to attack constantly. And if they're doing that, they'll definitely be spared the need to guess if I'm readying a cartwheel or a teleport, because one of those things will get me hoofed in the face, and the other one will instantly turn into a block.
... ... ...no! No, no, no! I thought I was safe! ...but they moved her OTHER special move into the grabs section! Because now we've ALSO got a dragon punch! I was just being hyperbolic! And now you also give me a dragon punch command grab to contend with?! Because at least it traditionally being relegated to an anti-air attack of some kind gives me a range of timings to get it right... but a grab is required to be instantaneous and right up next to an opponent!
...I don't think I can handle this level of execution barrier with any level of reliability. And it started out so well, I thought! Kind of!
I do really like her "Magic," though. A bunch of random action stuff flying around with a rather sizable magic meter to play around with. I'm not even super much bothered by the fact that there's not a reliable means of replenishing it... at least not one that I can control myself, anyway... because, chances are, I'll end up leaving most of it stowed away anyway... That's a lot of madness to share with another person per round!
My only other thought is that, after this, I'm always confusing her picnic basket super follow-up for one that needs to be performed with double-quarter-circle back instead of down-down... and that's just in the rare enough moments I manage to scrounge up two stocked meters! So I don't even end up with the luxury of trying to handle sharing its gifts by remaining in close proximity to it... much less ANOTHER teleport input to buffer.
But at least THAT one scatters the gifts all over to wreak havoc! ...I surely hope that after this second run through the tutorial, even just vicariously off my own past self... maybe I can remember some of this better...
I guess what I should say here is that I really WANT to like this one. But it's a lot of stuff going on that runs contrary to my nature... and... maybe I'll just have to put in the work, finally. Really, really weird work...
Do it for her!
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