#TTRPG Space Marines
15(Some lyrics Alan Moore, 'DR & Quinch Get Drafted')
We're Space Marines! We're glorious
We're steadfast, brave and true!
So don't you dirtbags mess with us,
Or this is what we'll do:
We'll nick your dogs,
We'll nuke your schools,
We'll stretch you on a rack!
We'll borrow all your garden tools
And never give them back!
We are the bold marines of space
We wade through gore and grue
And if we do not like your face
Then this is what we'll do:
We'll sneer and spit and call you names
Tip napalm down your shirt
Your vest will be consumed by flames
And that will really hurt.
We blaze a trail through every star
In armor that won’t bend
And if you think you’ve got a hope
Here’s how your joy will end:
We'll clog your drains,
We'll hide your keys,
We'll rename all your files!
We’ll rearrange your media
And fill your socks with bile!
We fight with grit and boundless rage
Our vengeance finely tuned
But when we find your hidden base
This is what will seal your doom:
We'll move your car,
We'll change your tunes,
We'll rearrange your chairs!
We’ll take your pens, pop your balloons
Then leave without a care!
We charge through space, a fearsome sight
With plasma in our veins
And when we set our eyes on you
Here’s how we’ll cause you pain:
We'll reset clocks,
We'll spoil your food,
We'll mess with your remote!
We’ll teach your children to be rude
And then begin to gloat!
We bring the pain, we bring the fear
Our wrath knows no restraint
But if you think that you can hide
We find that idea quaint:
We'll flick your lights,
We'll rumple rugs,
We’ll crumple all your hats!
We’ll swap your coffee with old slugs
And laugh at your mishaps!
We stalk the void, relentless crew
No challenge too extreme
But when we - at last - catch up to you
Here’s how we’ll end your dream:
We'll drain your pool,
We'll ding your car,
We’ll mix up all your books!
We’ll mangle up your best guitar
Then give you dirty looks
We're Space Marines! We're glorious
We're steadfast, brave and true!
So don't you dirtbags mess with us,
Or this is what we'll do:
We'll nick your dogs,
We'll nuke your schools,
We'll stretch you on a rack!
We'll borrow all your garden tools
And never give them back!
We are the bold marines of space
We wade through gore and grue
And if we do not like your face
Then this is what we'll do:
We'll sneer and spit and call you names
Tip napalm down your shirt
Your vest will be consumed by flames
And that will really hurt.
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"See... I can get you what you want, I can. I can get you anything, you just have to talk to me, you have to trust me. You can trust me, 'cause I'm your priest, I'm your shrink... I am your main connection to the switchboard of the soul. I'm the magic man... Santa Claus of the subconscious. You say it, you think it, you can have it."
- Lenny Nero, Strange Days