VEDA2020-13 - Rambling about my Mom

Channel:

aetherspoon

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Published on April 14, 2020 9:20:07 PM ● Video Link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kxB6CWgG0Pk

Duration: 31:29

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Content Warning: Medical Situations, Death, Suicidal Thoughts, (Mental) Trauma. Please, be kind to your mind and only watch if you feel like you can.

This... isn't the video I intended to make. I suppose I'm still bouncing between the phases of grief. This was going to be a video about how I miss my mother after five months of her being gone, and I suppose it still is... but it also is a video about me being upset with the way my mother went, along with my own reactions to it.

Grief, just like a person, resists being simply defined. My mother was a wonderful person, but not perfect. Some of those imperfections had some pretty major effects on my personality and mental traumas, but she was trying her best.

This video took a lot out of me. I'm typing this the day after and, whether it is from the recording of this last night or just the straw that broke my back, I've had three anxiety attacks today.