What if...?
57Here's an improvisation I came up with today. The reason why I gave this piece a title What if…? is because that's the question that I spend a lot of time asking myself (not sure when I started doing that), it became a habit that's hard to get rid off. The reason why I would like to get rid of it is because it makes me doubt myself and certain things in my life so soon I become anxious/doubtful of whether I've done something wrong, if I heard something correctly, if I made some kind of mistake that could cost me dearly in the future.
Often times because of that I can't focus on the things that I would like to do, it can be stronger than me.
Sometimes my mind starts playing tricks on me and I start believing things that, even though I know are not true, it's hard to convince myself it isn't otherwise and this turns into something even greater. That's why this composition is gloomy, because that's how I feel after all this overthinking that's hard to stop.
Also it's the reason why I haven't uploaded anything recently, it's hard for me to even start playing the piano and try to compose anything for more than four or five minutes.
Today I was lucky I guess, I was somehow able to come up with something.
Anyway, sorry about my rambling, hope you like this piece and thank you all for listening.:)
Nikola
Also the photo wasn't taken by me but by a friend's friend and it's used in this video with his permission.
Piano: Roland F-140R