What I've Got(Lyrics Video) | BossPanda
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"Beat by Mike Lightner" - First Class - Jeejuh.com
►Song download: https://soundcloud.com/bosspanda-534309082/what-ive-got
►Lyrics:
Verse 1:
Time passes the masses in my lungs amass
I'm baffled at the amount of scratches on my arms
from needles
Don't ask me if i'm okay when I ramble
I don't need another capsule
Just let me throw a tantrum about my brain contractions
and muscles spasms
I used to be a passionate human being
enthusiastic about wordplay and stanzas
reading intelligent magazines
Now the chaplain's saying a prayer
family awaiting prognosis
probably slim chances I could only imagine
If you could even feel a fraction of what I feel
You'd wish that an assassin would drain your blood by the gallon
and throw your body into a chasm
Why am I still here, poison in my veins, fuck this cancer
I was supposed to live to see my grandson, now I'm a phantom
Chorus:
What I've got
Is what you don't want
This Sickness kills me
But I've got my
Got my family
Got my friends
Got my loved ones
Til the end
Verse 2:
They didn't sign up for this job, nobody should have to watch me die
Right now I'd climb the highest mountain and scream and whine and cry
They tell me that i'm strong, but I'm really living a lie
Cause inside my chest there's emptiness as the masses occupy it
I live on a diet of self loathing, sometimes suicidal
The only thing that helps coping is the carcinogens that I know
But they got me here. a vicious cycle of smoker's denial
I'm entitled to a final drag before death's arrival
Chorus:
What I've got
Is what you don't want
This Sickness kills me
But I've got my
Got my family
Got my friends
Got my loved ones
Til the end
Verse 3:
I heard a rap song the other day talking about having energy
But mine's been drained by the medicine so I turned it off and went to sleep
Next morning I had to look into the faces of my family
Worry in their eyes all I feel is pain and lethargy
Been reduced to a surly man in his early thirties
used to have curly hair but it fell out and my nerves are hurting i'm at god's mercy
I mean, if there even is a god, how could he let this happen, IV in my veins
laying half naked on a gurney, am I not worthy?
Chorus:
What I've got
Is what you don't want
This Sickness kills me
But I've got my
Got my family
Got my friends
Got my loved ones
Til the end
Verse 4:
Cursing at the sky, going insane, trying to abstain from violent rage in front of my wife
and my kids, feigning complacency with my situation
I hate this uncontrollable feeling patiently waiting for salvation
from this treatment participation
the implications are that i want to live
with the medication that dominates my senses
while i resort to meditation
to take the edge away and go some place
that feels like vacation
In my mind's eye, I try to envision
a world without my condition where
i'm not watched over 24/7 by physicians
but listen
Even though i'm not in my right headspace
I'm happy i'm not abandoned by my family
I'll take the good moments and make the best of it
Be all I can be
While i'm fighting to stay alive and be thankful for what i've got
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