Duration: 0:00

35 views

3

I said I bought this game for the story, that’s my claim,
But every time I boot it up, I forget the girls’ names.
Volleyball on the beach, bikinis so tight,
Sweatin’ on the couch, yeah, I play all night.
Oh no, I’m only here for the plot,
Ignore the bouncy physics and that hot hot hot shot.
I’m a serious gamer, yeah, can’t you tell?
I just like the storyline — sure as hell!
I’m playin’ for the plot (mmm yeah),
Not that jiggly dot dot dot (oh yeah).
I’m just here for deep lore scenes,
Not the oiled-up beauty queens!
I swear it’s for the plot (hey hey),
Not the butts that make me pray (hallelujah).
Serious gamer, that’s my lot,
Ignore my sweaty hands — it’s for the plot!
Collectin’ swimsuits like they’re Pokémon rare,
Staring at the screen, like I don’t even care.
Oh look, a side quest! Let’s bounce to that boat,
Oops, I dropped my controller down my throat.
Oh no, I’m only here for the plot,
Ignore that close-up angle of that yoga squat.
I’m a classy gal, you can trust me so,
My eyes are up here… no, really though!
I’m playin’ for the plot (mmm yeah),
Not the wobbly jackpot (boing boing).
I’m just here for rich deep themes,
Not for late-night sweaty dreams!
I swear it’s for the plot (haha),
Not the peaches on the yacht (oh lord).
Serious gamer, don’t you mock,
Ignore the screenshots in my doc!
Ohh… I just wanna understand the lore,
Why are they on this beach? Tell me more!
I don’t see the bouncing
I’m immune,
Wait… did she just change in the moonlight so soon?!
I’m playin’ for the plot (woo!),
Not the sand in every slot (yikes).
Just an intellectual, dude,
With a very healthy mood!
I swear it’s for the plot (yeah!),
Not for screenshots that I got (oops).
Dead or Alive, you know I fought…
…to keep my dignity
but guess what?

I lost it for the plot!