2024 Has Been a Horrible Year (My Allegations)
25In this video i'm gonna be explaining why 2024 has been a horrible year
I highly advise everyone to watch this video and make sure to read and pause
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I Really Have Been Considering For The Past two weeks if i should make a video talking about this
Because i've genuinely been extremely uncomfortable and distressed when it comes to addressing the topic
But i feel like i have no other choice but to do so
I'm hoping by me making this video this can help you see my perspective and also spreading awareness about ocd in general.
I also wanna make it clear that when i talk about an experience in the screenshots mentioned by welkarin
It's either 3 things
it either didn’t happen
it either did happen but the way i've remembered it was inaccurate
it did happen (very unlikely)
The third option is very unlikely based on my ocd history and everything i've told and experienced
My biggest mistake was talking about something super personal to someone i barely knew
And now i'm paying the consequences for it
I understand how this is partially my fault
And i probably would've acted the same
the only reason i knew afterwards of her threatening to expose me was because during the time that i "confessed" i moved on from that experience and took it as a fact. obviously i worried about it a little bit but realistically i just learned to let go and thought everything in that experience i've told was true
And even after she threatened to expose me
I still had believed what i had done afterwards
It's not like i have instantly changed my mind
So in general it’s realistically a mystery that i've unfortunately realized too soon
This also shows because there are certain things that i can’t even remember
Like me not knowing the reason, my intentions behind it or when i've exactly done it
And the other parts are what my anxiety has filled in with the blanks of that distorted memory
Which could easily be wrong for all i know
The reason why i'm between being unsure if this really happened or not is because of my ocd
I can’t tell whenever it’s an ocd trick or if it’s just me
there is even the chance of it not being false memory and it could just be me thinking something in the past that i don't quite remember and because of my anxiety it filled in the blanks of that distorted memory and eventually gave me a story.
regardless i think it's unfair to judge me based on what i've said rather than seeing my actions instead. whatever i said is literally hearsay at this point
and i hope this video proves that
And the more i move on and focus less on these topics and the more i let go
The more confident i feel in myself
Because i'm not helping myself nor anyone else by constantly questioning and worrying about everything
She wasn’t the only person i had told of these false memories there were many other instances with other people where i've thought i have done something but in reality i haven't.
obviously i cannot be 100% sure but based on everything i have experienced and the compulsions i have done
i also feel the need to repeat a lot of things just to make sure that my message is clear.
i realistically think this is just my ocd
and i assume it is a false memory due to what i've experienced
So no i'm not the dangerous person that you may think i am
If i really was then why would i have also shown proof of myself not being a "pre##tor"
You even said that i was not pre##tory to you in any way
And you say "well how am i supposed to know ur not to others?"
I don’t know? Maybe don’t assume stuff about people?
So what really was the point in all of this?
How is you talking to me instantly gonna help you figure out that i am one?
If you really wanted to. You should’ve done what Chris Hansen Does
But you didn’t
YET OTHERS HAVE AND GUESS WHAT HAPPENED?
NOTHING Because i'm not that type of person!!!
A persons actions matter more than their words
And you cared about the opposite
You cared more about what i've said and took it as a fact
Regardless I Apologize to everyone for Concerning Them With My Behaviour
I Have been in therapy for the past two years
And my therapist is currently looking for an ocd specialist for me to help me much further
I'm gonna be taking a long mental break
And also focus on taking care of myself since i've also been dealing with deep self hatred
I'll come back once the time is right
i've defintitely needed this as it was a slap to my face that opened my eyes to how unstable i clearly am
and how bad my anxiety truly has gotten
OCD RESOURCES: https://www.treatmyocd.com/blog/false-memory-ocd
Watch This Video: • False Memory OCD - What is looks like!
I'm really sorry and i wish you all a happy early new year…