Dealing with mental issues as Tortoise IN THE SHELL: #morningcoffee #mtgpodcast #mtgcreep
0A lot of people who have been around the channel for a while, know I struggle with Bipolar disorder. manic depression and struggle somewhere on the spectrum. I have child like qualities and a lot of issues that go a long with functioning as an adult. I deal with fears everyday that should not exist in my world. I deal with the fear of success, I am afraid of the unknown responsibilities and unforeseen events if I do succeed. I deal with the fear of failure, if I fail at something I feel that I am not good enough to deserve what I am working for. I find myself caught in a lot of middle ground bull-Sh*t. I have a function level of, If I just exist that's just fine. I have a fear of changing my environment. I get unmotivated if I have to change something to exist in any altercations of my life. I go through a lot of anxiety and stress. My brain is always panicking over everything I have mentioned and stepping out of bounds into new territory. I struggle with imperfection and I hate perfection. I hate the boundaries of finishing a project. I hate promoting myself. I fear selling myself on youtube and in real life. I don't know my value or self worth. I feel worthless most of the time. I also know without me my level of worth will be missed. but what level of value is that? I don't know? Self confidence. MY self confidence goes up and down all the time. I struggle with self image. I want people to see me as positive. Though I feel negative. I try to be perfect when I think I just confuse people all the time? Truth is, I just struggle to exist. \n\nJoin this channel to get access to perks:\n\n\nFacebook Link:a\nhttps://www.facebook.com/groups/sftmtg\n\nDiscord Link:\nhttps://discord.gg/cFeFktmTrV\n\nWhere I like to buy my magic cards?\nhttp://www.cardkingdom.com/\n\n--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------\nPeople we have on the show!\n\nkjcowboydan\n\n\nbackwoods collector\n / channel \n\nJesse Hellwheeler \n\n\ntibalts apprentice\n\n\nMTG HILLBILLY:\n\n\ncptwaffles\n\n\ntcgdude\n\n\nmugenfool\n\n\n\n-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- \nWhere I like to buy my magic cards?\nhttp://www.cardkingdom.com/\n\nTempest game is not a sponsor, they're my game LGS to buy and attend events.\n\nPhone: 319-390-6441\nemail: rich@tempestgames.net\nwebsite: www,tempestgames.net\n\naddress: \nTempest games\n212 edgewood rd NW, suit K.\nCedar Rapids, IA 52405\n\nCheck out MTG Goldfish for some epic deals and the Movers and shakers list\nhttps://www.mtggoldfish.com/\n\n--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------\n\nTibalts Apprentice: Dark Ritual, TCG player link.\nhttps://www.tcgplayer.com/search/all/product?seller=ba4113a3\n\n\nCoulee cards and games of cedar rapids:\n2660 Wiley Blvd SW, Cedar Rapids, IA 52404\nPhone: (319) 449-4462\nfacebook page: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61561750372768\n--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------\n\nAI music provided by: https://app.suno.ai/\n\nAI is used in parts of this video.\n\n#mtg #superfasttortoise #sft #youtube #podcast #podcasting #podcasters #openforum #morningcoffee #coffee #coffeetime #goodmorning #morningmotivation\n\nJOIN STREAMYARD TEAM!\nWant to create live streams like this? Check out StreamYard: https://streamyard.com/pal/d/4822605961101312