deaththreads - christian science

Channel:

Christian McDepressed

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Published on September 9, 2021 9:47:54 PM ● Video Link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vF3LOzBvcL0

Duration: 16:30

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5

Note from bandcamp

I don’t want to wax poetic about an album I made a couple months ago. When I made Christian Science, I had constant suicidal ideation and it became hobbyistic. I would endlessly imagine dying over and over again. I would frequent suicide forums looking for ways to die, and I didn’t know where I was gonna be in the next year. I loved my family and my girlfriend, but I couldn’t make these thoughts go away.

I started writing this album a little bit after the peak of my suicidal ideation, when I got my medicine switched over from Prozac to Zoloft. I finally realized after 18 years that I have anxiety, it runs in my family. When I became stressed, I became depressed, and when I became depressed the suicidal ideation would return.

I planned on doing ten songs originally, but when I finally came back to it, the more I tried to write from the point of view of the suicidal person I was, I would only relapse into old habits. I left this project abandoned and unfinished, however I am still proud of it. It’s a time capsule for me, I don’t want anyone who listens to my music to see me as a musician, I just want them to see me as a person that is cataloguing his life through music.

- christian