Friend Computer's Holiday Message
23This Mandatory Gift Exchange Day your friend the computer shall warn you of a dangerous commie traitor who haunts our complex, but have no fear citizens for you are safe to exchange your gifts and to work just as hard as any other day *OR ELSE* for as you will hear there is nothing to fear from the evil Sant-R-KLS...
Happy Mandatory Gift Exchange Day to you all!
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"Twas the nightcycle before mandatory gift exchange day and all through the complex,
nothing was stirring not even a small furry tailed mutant,
**It had been killed by a brave troubleshooter team on a mission however they were all traitors and thus the mutant was not properly disposed of, a form has been sent to CPU to begin planning the creation of a disposal team for the mutant, hail the computer!**
The automatic turrets were armed by the armed forces with care,
In hopes that evil commie leader Sant-R-KLS would come there."
"And all the citizens were sleeping a deep sleep in their beds *OR ELSE*,
While visions of hugbots danced around in their heads.
And docbots in their storage bays and scubbots looking sublime,
Had just set their bot brains for self diagnostic downtime."
"When out in the corridor there arose such a clatter,
Citizens sprang from the bed to see what was the matter.
Away to the doorway they saw what looked like a flash,
As friend computer TZAPPED them for breaking curfew, leaving only some ash"
The wall lights reflected in the new-fallen *classified substance*
Gave the glow of mid-daycycle to objects below.
When, what to my forever watching eye should we see,
But a miniature sleighbot, and eight horned flying commies.
With a feeble old driver, but deadly and quick,
Knew all citizens that it must be Sant-R-KLS.
More rapid than transbots his mutants they came,
As he spoke propaganda and called them by name!
"On Dash-R! now, Dance-R! now, Prance-R and Vix-N!
On,*classified*! On, *classified*! on *classified* and *classified*!
To the top of the complex! to the loyal citizens homes!
Now fly my commie muties! up and over the domes!"
As dry tiles that before the malfunctioning fan fly,
When they meet with an obstacle, mount to the sky.
Onwards to the Complex so the lasers they flew,
through the sleigh full of leaflets, and Sant-R-KLS too.
And then, in a twinkling, I heard on the roof
The prancing and pawing of each mutant hoof.
He had survived the guns, wounded but there he did stand.
And down access tube *ERROR* Sant-R-KLS came with a bound.
He was dressed all in *classified*, from his head to his foot,
And his clothes were all covered with ashes and soot.
There a bundle of leaflets he had flung down in a stack.
And he looked like a commie, so turrets targeted his back.
His eyes-how they twinkled with malice! and his dimples how unhygienic!
His cheeks bloated and his nose pointed like a docbots needle!
His drool in his little mouth was dripping down on the floor,
And the beard of his chin was black as an Infra-RED's door.
The stump of a pipe he held tight in his teeth,
Was a fire hazard as treasonous as any one could see .
He had a broad face and a little round belly,
That shook when he laughed, that maniacal commie!
He was chubby and plump, a right slob of a clone,
And I laughed when I saw him, in spite of myself!
A blink of his eye and a twist of his head,
Was the answer he gave as I shot him stone dead.
He spoke not a word, but went straight to the floor,
And emptied all his stockings, as they fell by the door.
And laying his fingers aside of the ground,
And giving a nod, up the dome he *TRAVEL RECORD NOT FOUND*!
He crawled to his sleigh-bot, and to his team gave a splutter,
And away they all flew like the commie scum they are.
But I heard him exclaim, 'ere he drove out of the door,
"Happy Mandatory Gift Exchange Day to all and to all...!" as the tacnuke hit and Sant-R-KLS was no more...