Insomnia Files: With A Lack Of Interest in Life I Picked Preorders & Watch Moribus [7/10] (3.4.2022)
0well here we are...
I can't truly explain this to someone who doesn't know me, but this feeling of numbness or level of lack of intrest is bad for me. I say that but I'm not sure if anyone reads this or watches my videos. I know that bots are watching them and I have a insomnia files video with 7 views for some reason, but who knows. At this point with this lack of interest I'm almost convinced that making these videos makes no difference because no one truly cares about the things I'm buying or my random complaining or slight interest in streaming games I'm playing for the first time. I know that's just my mood, but I feel like I'm on a sinking ship and everyone content safe on shore waiting to see how long before the ship goes under. That may be dark, but it really how I feel. It is what it is or who knows maybe some worse will happen that will just take me down fully and I'll just stop fighting. On the other end the spectrum something good could also happen that improves how I'm viewing my life... I just feel after losing friends, feeling isolated, getting suddenly sick, feeling like bills may drown me and losing the concept of what being happy is to me... it feels like it all down hill. who knows, but more importantly who cares. I doubt anyone will read this for a week or maybe even months. the people that know me are concerned with the problems I present and not the ones that effect on a personal level because my problem despite how small they may be to some are the they few things that effect what I have left for emotions. eh... sitting here writing doesn't matter like I said no one is going read it anytime soon and in the end it doesn't matter. my problems don't really matter to the rest of the world...
ta