life goes on for everyone else

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NewbieLv1

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Published on October 4, 2024 6:34:18 PM ● Video Link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gY80Acd4ago

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never did plan anything for the future. i never saw myself here, thinking it will all be over before 18 because i feel like i wasnt strong enough to survive. i want to prove myself wrong, prove everyone wrong. i can do what i want, what i need, what i must. life will end when it does and the only one that can stop it is none. i will out-do everyone in everything i like, hopefully. everyday, i upload an archive, thinking i'd edit it someday, which is a lie. i wont be touching any of those videos and they'll be left unlisted, shared to those i think would be interested in watching. i want to go on, i want to live, i want to be remembered. i fear a lot of things, i'm sure you do too. we can do what we want, we will prove to everyone that they're wrong about what they said about us. all the mockery they once threw will hit them like a bullet train. i was asked, what do you plan for the future, of course i didnt answer it. it used to be an easy question, yet the older i get, the harder it is for me to know what my answer could be. i forgot who i wanted to be.. or maybe i left behind that man i wanted to be. i am not as brave as people around me, or thats what i'd like to think from the way i act and deal with things. i still love them for who they are and i want to be at least a bit like them. everyday, i realize that i am part of those i knew and liked... as a friend, family or more than that. i want to know who i am. am i just a fragment of people i know, or more than that? am i a canvas to be drawn over by thousands of souls, or an artist to draw on canvas of millions. am i truly me right now? are you actually who you are? have you had this question in your everyday? i want to be better than who i am and people around me, regardless of who they are. i am okay and i will be fine until i say i am not. i am breathing, my heart's still beating, my eyes still blinking. i am alive. i am human. i am also human. i am human, too. have you forgotten what i am? i am not a demon nor am i an angel. i am a soul in a vessel. i sometimes barely have control over my actions, and i fear if the one actually controlling me ruins everything for me. am i truly in control? who is controlling me? is it me, myself or another entity i am unaware of?