Duration: 52:12

37 views

2

Are you feeling drained? It might be because someone nearby is not what they seem… YOU MAY BE UNDER AN ENERGY DRAIN ATTACK RIGHT NOW! No, it is not just you didn’t get enough sleep or you’re bored. It is you, under energy drain attack by a vampire… right now!

Don't worry. This won't turn you into a vampire... nothing will.
Don’t worry, though. According to this forum, vampires aren’t really trying to kill you. They are just born with some kind of unexplained deficiency that can only be helped by leeching energy from humans. Some of them need blood. But don’t worry, they don’t bite you for it. Apparently, they ask you for it and they have to make sure you don’t have ant diseases first. Energy vamps appear to just sort of drain you and apparently, even if there were like 20 of them, all draining you simultaneously, it still wouldn’t kill you. So… yeah. Anyway… this episode is about these people so get ready to learn more than you ever wanted to about this nonsense.

Disclaimer: Lou Reads is a comedy podcast where things from the internet are read mostly without comment. The topics are read as closely to as written as possible. There is no censorship. Although this episode was recorded not that long ago, public attitudes towards sex, drugs, sex-work, homosexuality, transgender people, and other issues, have shifted and this episode may contain language and attitudes that some may find offensive and outdated. View it as a time capsule and not a current take. The blog posts are purposefully sarcastic and not meant to be taken seriously.

These episodes originally appeared at loureads.com This podcast can be found on iTunes, Stitcher, and most places podcasts can be heard.