LozTalkz Experiences in a Toxic Workplace
0Why did I make a two hour video talking about this? I honestly don't know. I just felt like I needed to get it out. I've talked about it to people in my life but it felt necessary to put everything together and speak it into the world. What do I think it achieves? Very little. Do I hope my ex-workplace finds it? Yes and no. Yes because I think they should know how I feel and that I have no problem expressing it. No because despite being as vague as possible in the video, I still expect them to send me a cease and desist.
What I experienced in this job has scarred me for life. Even now, I have a new job and every time I get something wrong, I go into a blind panic thinking I've marked my card and I'm going to lose my job. My ex-workplace managed to destroy years of confidence building and reduce me to a shell of the person I was before. Every ounce of self esteem I had built up from years of therapy was been taken from me. I don't believe in myself anymore. I don't know how to sell myself to new employers because now I feel like I'm not worth employing. They ruined me and it's such a waste.
I suppose I just want this video to exist so that if anyone ever asks what the hell happened at my old job, I can say 'Watch this. You'll understand.' It has been over eight months since I left and I still feel the scars every day.
Don't work for CEOs. And join a union. Unless your issue is with the Head of HR. In that case, quit because you'll never win.
"No one likes a mad woman, what a shame she went mad. No one likes a mad woman, you made her like that. And you'll poke that bear until the claws come out and you'll find something to wrap your noose around."