March of The Degs (CS:S)
3Today is a day that all young men of America will look back on with pride. The Degs were truly defeated with great valor and it shall be written into the history books for future generations. The battle first started in 1872 when Rapid Johnny accidentally gave Deg a handjob, causing mass hysteria for the audience of the coliseum.
Soon, chaos broke out and World War 3 had started. Trench warfare ensued and they were filled to the brim with corpses and erect penises. It was a horrifying sight for all. The rations tasted like burnt dick, and maybe it's because that's exactly what it was, but the soldiers had to eat it nonetheless. Nobody knew what Deg soldiers were surviving on, but Americans were fed DREs (Dicks, Ready-to-Eat). Some experts say The Degs live solely on the thrill of the fight, but there is no evidence proving these claims.
The Degs fought with suckjobs and the Americans fought with handjobs. The Americans played dirty by raiding The Degs' trenches at night by sneaking in and giving all of the soldiers handjobs. The Degs retaliated by capturing American soldiers and giving them suckjobs until they cummed. Not long after these captures had begun, all American soldiers were given two cyanide capsules in case of such an event.
Any soldier that chooses to use enemy tactics is deemed a traitor and is subject to a firing squad. The solider would be tied up and given handjobs or suckjobs depending on which faction he was formerly allied with.
The Handjob Peace Treaty of 2014 was signed and now only suckjobs are permitted within American and German borders. Blowjobs are still illegal though because only gay dudes blow dicks. And yes, even though we signed a peace treaty we still consider that winning.
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