Game:

Metroid Prime (2002)

Duration: 12:37

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238

We all know how NOT to play Metroid Prime. Our friend, DipShitPhail has seen to tainting that classic by not learning simple mechanics and blaming everything but himself for his failure in combat, swinging with the grapple beam, using the scan visor, and just all around being a suckass gamer, but even worse, a suckass human being. As he has done with dozens of other amazing titles.

The untold story is that beneath that failure's playthrough lies a game with tremendous speedrunning potential, one of the original cornerstones of the speedrunning community in fact.

Even after the Wii re-release took most of the sequence breaking out from the original Gamecube version, there's always a thirst to replay this classic and find the fastest route to completing it.

There's a very unique storytelling method by making the storytelling its own collectible, and while a speedrun usually breezes past a lot of the lore, I'll still be doing my best to piece it together for those unaware of the surprisingly rich backstory told to Samus by the Chozo Lore.

There's not a whole lot in the way of advanced tactics in this speed run simply because the Wii version has most of it taken out. I'll be discussing my route, why I make the choices to save certain collectibles for later. Any player who has basic understanding of the controls of the game can match or beat this playthrough's time of three hours; it's simply a matter of streamlining your combat, your route, and multitasking.

Certainly not impossible to be competent or even good at the game if you bother to put an ounce of brainpower into it. Alas, for some wastes of space who put out a lot of quality KAHNTENT, learning basic gameplay isn't as simple, OKAAAAY?

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