So. I'm an idiot, and I put the mic in the wonky USB port again.
No Voice audio.
Turns on the light, makes windows bloop that you plugged something in, and for most purposes, works fine. Skype, Dischord, etc, works fine. But if you try to record with OBS? Screw you, you get nothing. No clue if the USB port is damaged or whats going on.
Currently, Zetro Hermit has 475 views for Dark Souls III across 83 videos. The game makes up over 1 day of published video on his channel, roughly 4.09% of Dark Souls III content that Zetro Hermit has uploaded to YouTube.