Game:

Journey (2012)

Duration: 2:36:10

16 views

0

Journey- played it as Mom was dying. Coincidentally almost two years ago to the day-

My 74 year old mother lays in my living room slowly passing away, she has very little time left on this earth. She is in a semi coma state, no eating or anything and can't talk. She sleeps 23.9 hours a day.

I've been battling guilt the past week. Should I sit and hold her hand constantly even though she's not awake and tear my self up or keep my mind occupied. Mom would always say "I'll be alright, go play a game" so that's what I did.

Yesterday I sat on my bed and started Journey on the PS4. I never owned a PS3 and I've wanted to play this since release but it just worked this way. I sat there and zoned into the game taking my time looking at the beauty of the world. I met a stranger and we walked for a bit, sliding up and down sand dunes and then mom woke up at one point so I sat my character down so I could go to talk to her. She would only be awake for 5 minutes but I got my time in and mom mustered enough strength to kiss my cheek. I returned to the game to find the stranger surprisingly waiting patiently for me. We continued onward.

Shortly after I got caught up in the music. So much that I started crying. I made my character sit, leaving a stranger to venture onward alone , and I came in the living room and held my moms hand and fell asleep in the chair next to her. Mom stirred a bit and I woke up, spoke to her and gave her some water with an eye dropper. I told my mom I loved her, kissed her cheek, leaned in so she could kiss mine. She drifted back to sleep. I returned to the game.

I never turned the game off, so I stood my character up and traversed through the cave with enemies. I wasn't expecting Confrontation in this game but I pressed on. As I neared the mountain top, I reflected on the game, and hesitated to go up to the top. I looked into the living room at mom and reflected on her journey. I'm 32, and I've never left her side, we had it rough, she's had it rougher. she's battled cancer 4 times and overcome it each time. She's being done in by her heart thanks to radiation burning it and COPD. Her journey was like the game, beautiful at times, rough at others. Surprising, filled with people that stick by you when you don't think they will and others that leave.

I marched toward the top of the mountain towards the light with tears streaming down my face, crying my eyes out. As I walked into the light my heart was breaking. I made it. The star flew across the land, past everything that I had seen and been through, just like I'm sure mom is reflecting on everything in her life now. The game ripped my heart out of my chest.

Only to go back to the beginning. With a button prompt X- New Journey. It was almost like a question.

I pressed X and looked at my character with tears. I said to myself not yet, it's not over yet. I Sat the character down stared at the screen for a while and turned off the PS4.

Me and my wife will start that new journey soon, one without Mom. But for now, I'll continue walking with my mom towards the mountain top until she enters that light.
-- Watch live at https://www.twitch.tv/mcchitman

Other Statistics