Plot Twists? Nah, We Prefer Predictable Abigail! @ChrisStuckmann
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ABIGAIL 2024 "REVIEW"
@ChrisStuckmann @CodyLeachYT @JeremyJahns
Oh, wow, what a brilliant move! Let's spoil the whole darn plot right in the trailer, shall we? Because who needs suspense or surprise anyway? So, Abigail's the vampire, huh? Who would've guessed? Oh wait, everyone who watched the trailer! But sure, let's drag out the whole "who's the undercover one" masquerade, even though we all know it's Abigail from the get-go. Genius storytelling right there. And oh, let's not forget the classic "everybody makes horrible decisions" trope! Because why bother with logic or common sense when you can split up and get picked off one by one? Clearly, our survival strategy is flawless. Let's just keep splitting up until there are only two of us left. Because, you know, that's been working out so well for us so far. Bravo!
Oh, Lambert, the master of perfect timing! Because, you know, why Choose for a straightforward solution when you can wait until the eleventh hour, when nearly everyone's already met their downfall, to unveil your brilliant plan? Because who needs effectiveness when you can have drama, am I right? I mean, forget about the logical options like taking her out when she's happily knocked out or, oh I don't know, just opening a darn window during daylight. No, let's save that for the grand finale, because what's a good plot twist without a healthy dose of unnecessary risk and suspense? Bravo, Lambert, bravo!"
"Oh, look at me, I'm Mr. Glasses Guy, and suddenly I've developed this irrational hostility for Joey now that I'm a vampire. Oh, but surprise, surprise, I couldn't even manage to off Abigail! She had to kindly point out where I screwed up, and guess what? I messed up again! Ha, what a riot! And then I thought, 'Hey, why not try my hand at making Joey my little puppet?' But of course, that was just another glorious failure on my part. I couldn't possibly be any more clumsy if I tried. Seriously, I might as well be Dr. Drakken from Kim Possible, monologuing my entire ridiculous plan to my enemies!
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