Retro Reviews - Ghosts 'n Goblins
5Welcome back to Retro Reviews! It’s been a long time, so let’s get back into it with one of the most difficult games of 1986, Ghosts n Goblins.
Capcom loves giving us great games, but not without torturing us with their insane difficulty levels, but this game in particular takes it way too far. The game opens with a knight and his lady friend hanging out in a cemetery, as romantic couples do, when Satan shows up and takes her away. You must then journey through the videogame hell of this game. It doesn’t start out too hard, but if you don’t progress quickly, these zombies will get you, taking away half your life. The ideal strategy is to farm the knife out of a zombie because it is the best weapon.
Halfway through the stage you come across a red devil. These things suck. They fly up out of your reach and swoop down to hit you. These guys are fast too, but the best way to deal with them is to hit them when they’re barely on screen, then run away. The rest of the level isn’t too bad. The boss of the level is this unicorn. The manual calls it that, but it looks an awful lot like a Cyclops, but whatever.
The first part of the 2nd stage isn’t too bad, but after that things amp up quickly. This hell house requires patience, and some luck. The big guys take a lot of damage and they need to be dealt with. But no, you can’t just fight them, these god damned birds keep coming for you. I would say this is the hardest part of the game, but the rest of the game is equal or more hard than this. The end boss is a pair of unicorns.
Stage 3 starts off ok, but once you get to the blue caves, your basically dead in your tracks. Red Devils populate the caves, and some of them you must fight. The end boss is a dragon, but he is immune to the javelin. His body can be hurt with it, but his head you must hit with something else.
After is a cloud jumping section. It is here and back it stage 2 you realize the game doesn’t have very good jumping controls. If feels a little stiff, and the knockback is ruthless. I can’t tell you how many times I got hit only to be sent flying into a pit. Oh, and here’s a tip, after the clouds a red devil waits for you. Try running past him into the fire bridge and let yourself die. That way you spawn safely ahead of him and can refill on your 2 hits of health.
The next 2 stages are down right impossible. They are the lower and upper portions of the final tower, but the enemy placement and movement is either so random or too brutal to get past. I have never seen the Satan boss with my own eyes, and at this rate I never will. In stage 6 you come across this shield looking thing. If you were playing the game honestly it is required to beat the game, but if you use the stage select code to jump around, don’t worry about it.
And so, here we are, the final battle with the Devil. Yeah in the manual, Satan and the Devil are 2 separate beings. Ok. He is not that hard to deal with. Actually, he’s pretty damn easy considering the hell you went through to even get to him. But here is where the game shows off how unforgiving it is. New Game Plus was a thing back then to keep people playing, as it acted as a hard mode. This game requires 2 playthroughs in order to even get the true ending. What a load of shit. But if you want to see it, just fight him twice with the stage code and there you go. Enjoy the horrible grammar to an impossible game.
There is also this item that turns you into a frog. It sucks being a frog when there’s a devil flying around you. This game is fun, but it is quite hard to make progress. The graphics are done in a way that shows how creepy and demonic everything is. It is an iconic look. There’s also only 3 different tracks of music in the main game, and they’re all pretty decent. Probably wouldn’t want to listen to them in your car all day, but just right for the game. This is a fairly common game, and I recommend it highly, it offers great challenge, and has one of the fairest checkpoint systems you can ask for with a game as hard as this. Anyway, tune in next time to tackle another impossible gem from the past.
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