SERIOUSLY. TORY PARTY. THERE IS NO POOPER SCOOPER BIG ENOUGH TO CLEAR UP JOHNSON’S...
0Seriously. Tory party. there is no pooper scooper big enough to clear up Johnson’s constant mess
If you’re defending a PM who makes draconian new laws then breaks them. I’m afraid your public service mechanism is shot Defending the indefensible prime minister over pandemic lawbreaking. one Conservative MP sniffed to the Financial Times: “It’s not as if he walked into a rave in Ibiza.” I mean … all the clubs in Ibiza were dutifully shut. what with it being a pandemic? But yes. how encouraging that Amnesia holds itself to a higher standard than No 10. Today marks 1.000 days of Boris Johnson’s premiership. and you have to agree he has truly delivered on his flagship levelling down agenda. Johnson drags everyone to the bottom. In the afternoon of this totemic day. the prime minister was forced to stand up in the House of Commons – or the Bollocksseum. as his behaviour repeatedly casts it. Here. in the course of spouting some more utter cobblers. he acknowledged that he had been fined by the police for breaking a law. This was not only a law he had made himself. but one that he had stressed the absolutely vital importance of sticking to. every night on TV. Meanwhile. a load of Tory MPs will gibber their way across the airwaves to explain that this is no biggie. With the exception of those few backbenchers to have called for the prime minister’s resignation. the hardest line you’ll hear from any other Conservative member of parliament is that they are “waiting to see the local election results”. To which the only possible retort is: why? Why do you need to wait for the public to tell you right from wrong? Don’t you think the public might be a bit busy with matters such as the cost of living crisis to have to explain the absolute basics to a bunch of betas whose job is supposed to include having a clue? Honestly. if you can’t work out that it is beyond a pisstake for the prime minister to make draconian new laws then break them himself. it does feel like your public service mechanism is completely shot. Unfortunately. there’s a lot of it about. People break out the term “gaslit” for everything these days. but this is an occasion where it fits the bill. Contrary to what the Northern Ireland secretary. Brandon Lewis. claimed this morning. this is not like a parking fine. unless we’ve all forgotten the bit where the government cleared the broadcast schedules at 5pm every night to impress on the British people the life or death importance of not breaking parking regulations. Last weekend it was reported that Johnson himself had kicked off his adviser Lee Cain’s leaving do by pouring the drinks. Picking back through the archives. it wasn’t so long after this event that HM government unveiled a hard hitting new ad campaign. one image of which showed a woman being given oxygen as she stared accusingly into the camera. The caption: “Look her in the eyes and tell her you never bend the rules”. What can you say to those defending the government not just bending the rules. but breaking the law? Look us in the eyes and tell us you didn’t tell us to look her in the eyes. Even the cake assisted birthday gathering in the cabinet room for which Johnson has already been penalised by the Metropolitan police came not long after he had tweeted a letter in which he explained to a seven year old girl that she was right to cancel her birthday party. As the PM piously instructed the public in the attendant hashtag: “#BeLikeJosephine”. As has now been revealed. he himself continued to #BeLikeBoris. Speaking of stuff that seven year olds have grown out of. we know that Johnson is a big fan of The Lion King. recently quoting the movie’s “change is good” line when several of his closest No 10 staff walked out on him. Put simply. the Conservatives hanging on to Johnson now is like the entire pride hearing what Scar did but keeping him in post anyway. Weirdly. that wasn’t the plot structure Disney went with in the end – and they know a thing or two about popular narratives. Incidentally. any MPs...
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