Game:

Silent Assault (1989)

Duration: 3:28

228 views

5

"Hands up who wants to be Contra? Put your arm down, Color Dreams, because you have absolutely no idea of how to pull it off."

Unfortunately C.D. failed to heed this wise advice, and so we're left with this pastel-coloured platforming crap that wouldn't have looked, sounded nor played out of place on Action52.

If you can get over the 12 shades of garishness that this thing assaults your senses with, you'll see that there is no fucking consistency AT ALL. Other than the fact that it's shit, but then that's a given anyway.

It's probably worth pointing out that I was horrendously drunk when playing this, at some stupid hour like 2AM. But that's no excuse for this game to let me fall through the fucking floor.