Splatoon 3 - Smollusk's Notes (SPOILER)
6Each time you configure someone's palette by clearing the Spire of Order in Splatoon 3's Side Order expansion, you decrypt Smollusks's notes written on their backs. Most of them are its thoughts on the character that palette belongs to and why it dislikes them, though Pearl's and Agent 8's palettes have different tones, as an opening to how Smollusk has been observing them (for Pearl) and Smollusk's true nature by the time you configure all of the palettes..
To that end, it may be best to read Smollusks's notes in the order they appear on the palette collection. While Pearl's palette is the first one you get, Marina's the second, Agent 4's the third, and Agent 8's last, you could clear the Spire of Order with any palette you find, and the only requirement is that Agent 8's palette is cleared last.
To that end, here is a transcript of each of Smollusks's notes for each character, with his Elmer Fudd speech quirk removed:
PEARL: Did you know I study my enemies' moves in the name of order? Thanks to the digital tickets these jerks sent me, I watch all the livestreams of their shows! Then I check the VODs to examine every detail of their every move. CURSE THAT PEARL! She's too cool...
MARINA: Marina used to understand the value of an unchanging world. But then SHE changed! What happened?! Phooey! I'll never forgive whoever got to to Marina! And I won't forgive Marina either for betraying her principles! I'm gonna punish ALL of them!
AGENT 4: THIS is who Marina wanted in charge of Memverse security? This unflappable, free-spirited so-and-so? I would never abide it! But...no reason such strength shouldn't be used to protect a world of order. An Order Defense Force is MUCH cooler than a New Squidbeak Splatoon anyway! No lawless do-gooder would be beyond our grasp!
CALLIE: This Callie and her foolish, air-headed ways are a menace to any self-respecting fan of order. She never listens to her betters! Huh? She's friends with some Octolings, you say? Not only is she cute, she's a nice lady too! WAIT! Is her true plan to lure Octolings to the squid world with her charms? How reprehensible! She must be PUNISHED!
MARIE: What was this one's name? Marie? She's probably the most promising of the bunch. Her brilliant, sharp mind cuts through the noise and straightens out chaotic airheads! She's practically a guardian of order already! Except...she kinda seems OK with chaos? And that's a serious no-no for order fans! BLEH! NO THANKS!
SHIVER: I saw this Shiver person call a giant beast "Master"! But I didn't see this "Master" teaching her any lessons. Maybe this so-called Shiver is just trying to suck up to it? NOT OK! Flatterers like her can never be truly trusted. Her chaotic lies must be PUNISHED!
FRYE: GWAAAH! What a chaotic mess! Is this what souls are liek in Splatsville?! And get this, sometimes it plays a strange flute and POOF! A bunch of yellow creatures appear and do tricks! Incredible! Wow, they seem so tame and friendly with the--NO! Keeping someone capable of such feats around would only distract me from my mission! For the sake of order, they must all be PUNISHED!
BIG MAN: I've seen how this big manta was raised with love in a warm, caring household! Life seems tough for him right now. He's got responsibilities as head of his clan, friends who give him all sorts of grief, and a job that keeps him up late writing songs. So why is there always such a happy gleam in his eyes? BLECH! It annoys me, so he must be PUNISHED!
MURCH: I saw this guy conducting sketchy business with that suspiciously spiky-headed old guy! Although now it seems like maybe he's wondering if he's satisfied with his current station in life? Don't give up! There's always a future in order for industrious young men. Wash your hands of these chaotic ways as soon as you can!
SHELDON: I personally saw this so-called Sheldon person taking on two small, adorable disciples a lot like me! WHICH MEAN...he took two young, impressionable children who've known him since they were babies and raised them to inherit his legacy. What sort of terrible person would drill a love for weapons into children so young? This is an outrage! He must be PUNISHED!
DJ OCTAVIO: HWAAAT!? This is a big-shot Octarian! He seems rto spend most of his time these days flying around in his brand-new robot. But this is no time to be grinding wasabi! The happiness of all Octokind depends on you! Pull yourself together! The magistrate of order doesn't play favorites, not even for big shots. I sentence him to punishment!
AGENT 8: Oh, hiii, Eight! Can you tell I'm behaving myself and doing a good job as boss of the Spire? I have all the Jelletons here with me, so it doesn't get too lonely. But I still want you and Pearl and Marina and Acht to come play sometime! You'll always have a friend in Smollusk!
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