The Lord of the Rings: Gollum - Part 6
So, what do you get when a developer who deals most in point and click games (and seemingly no experience with stealth/action/sandbox) ambitiously embarks on a quest to write their own non-canon story around Gollum's ordeals between The Hobbit and TLOTR (presumably because they could not afford the rights to anything else) - then the developer is bought out and downsizes, delaying their project so that they can perfect it? Apparently you get this. A game so bad that the devs apologised for it on release day, and then announce that they will not produce further games. Gollum's woes as a broken game are summed up by the fact that they proudly announced that some issues would be fixed by "Pacth 2.0".
The glitches were admittedly funny - such as camera circling for no reason, dying for no reason, falling through platforms for no reason and even causing damage to systems via memory leak. For no reason. Of course there were times where this was less funny, in its insistance to record checkpoints where the character is dying - leaving you in death loops unless you restart entire chapters.
The game itself was boring, repetitive and tedious when it did actually work. A slog through environments seemingly rendered for PS2. With characters modelled for PS2. Only parts of Mirkwood looked alright - but a day trip to Mordor was comparable to the gamer having to listen to Maroon 5 whilst rubbing themselves in other people's shit. The wonderful range of tasks involved "hide from the orcs", "follow the beetle", "talk to the cook". The voice "actors" should never get work again.
Whilst streaming this, I had strangers popping in to ask if it was really that bad - before seeing for themselves and thanking me for my service. It isn't Superman 64, ET, Orc Slayer or Final Fantasy X2 - but what it actually is isn't saying that much.
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