The Porch Pooper Is a Menace To Society
5Who are the most evil villains you've ever seen? Voldemort? Kid Buu? Gargamel? Well put all of them together and you get the porch pooper. I really want to know what this person did or who he pissed off to have the same guy coming to his porch over and over to drop a deuce. I just have a feeling its something like the homeowner was hosting a barbeque and the porch pooper attended and they ran out of hotdogs before the porch pooper could get one. Like the joker said it just takes one bad day. One bad day can turn you into the batman or the joker or even the porch pooper. As of right now only one house is being terrorized and the police haven't found him. What if he just turns into the jack the ripper of defecation where he gets addicted to the thrill of ducking the cops in bushes at night just to sneak onto everyone's porches to paint them brown with his homemade paint and he's just popping laxatives the whole time so he can keep on sneaking around like the grinch in whoville but instead of taking presents he leaves them big brown presents on their porches. What if he inspires other dastardly narduels to do the same thing? Not gonna lie I feel bad for the guy that has to get up in the morning and clean it. It’s definitely one of those situations that’s hilarious only because it isn't happening to you. If I was him I’d catch him the only way possible. Clearly regular methods wont work on this cartoon ass villain. You can only catch him by setting up a zany system of ropes and pulleys in order to drop your own poop on his head next time he shows up. I don’t know how much prison time serial poopers get but he deserves azkaban for sure. I’m 99 percent sure when this guy gets arrested hes just gonna be like Wait, now I need to compare it to other crimes to see what would make me more mad. Would I be more if someone pooped on my porch or if someone hit me? porch pooping is definitely worse. What if someone stole my car? I think I'd rather get car jacked than my porch pooped on. Hmm would I rather get kidnapped or my porch pooped on? I’m actually going to have to think about this in the shower for a couple days
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