The worst she can say is no.... :Story in Description
1I need help with life, it just is not going well for me. I was talking to a woman about different things that happened to me, and I also talked to her about other things, but it started because I asked her for help with coding, she is a software developer.
Her account got suspended because she was doing some stuff where she was talking to scammers to get their accounts reported. But I'm going through a lot and I was talking to her under the notion that I could talk to her about stuff like this. The defibulator in my chest also went off that morning, and it is what woke me up in the first place. So I couldn't dm her, then I talked to her through the email she gave me. And in the email, I talked to her about the usual stuff I tell her about my life. But then I told her about how I feel like being with my family is really terrible.
And I explained to her how I would rather be with her if I had to be anywhere else, I also went into detail on how I don't have much to offer now but I could do sexual things for her and she told me to never talk to her again. I wasn't asking her to date me, I just don't want to be here anymore and doing pretty much anything would be better than this cycle of nothingness. And My heart failure isn't bad enough to end this life, but I really wish it was. She was a nice friend, and she was really cool to talk with about a lot of things.
I just should of calmed down and I overreacted to her being suspended. I wish I could take it back, I don't have any friends and I liked her opinions on things.
But I was just telling her how I felt and I made a comparison, she is a lot older than me, even if we did date , on top of heart failure, that relationship probably couldn't last long even if we loved each other. I don't think she ever paid attention to anything I told her. I told her how we can't date even if I wanted to I literally have no money, I don't even have bank or a phone, and she never cared at all. I was just wasting time with her, other than what she gave me for coding. But I miss talking to her about cats, and all the things, I'm Really Sorry Modern_Magecraft.