What are the best "video game logic" jokes? (Quora Favorites)

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What are the best "video game logic" jokes?

1. Taking painkillers, a soda, or even an adrenaline shot causes your wounds to heal over time (PUBG)
3. Wrapping bandages around any part of your body, even where you haven’t been shot, heals wounds all over the body (PUBG/Fortnite)
4. If you set off the enemy alarm in a stealth mission, the enemy goes back to normal protocol if you can avoid detection for a few minutes IRL.
5. Being able to heal from gunshot wounds in a matter of seconds (Call of Duty)
6. Infinite pocket size (literally any game where you have an inventory)
7. When reloading in a shooter game, your magazines are always full. What I mean here is that when you reload after having shot one bullet, you somehow never have to reload with a half-full mag. Also, the character reloads the exact same way every time like a machine.
8. When reloading a light machine gun, the character is hella slow and I would have been faster. Excuse me wtf?
9. Stab people in the foot and they will die as if they’ve been stabbed in the heart (Call of Duty)
10. Hit someone in the foot with a shotgun at point blank and they instantly die (Call of Duty)
11. During a thunderstorm, even if you’re carrying metallic objects, you risk being struck by lightning only if you currently have a metallic object equipped (Breath of the Wild)
12. Infinite fuel? (Mario Kart)
13. All primary weapons use the same type of ammo (Transformers games)
14. A small axe will kill people instantly no matter where it hits them (Call of Duty)
15. Smacking someone with a weapon twice kills them, no matter where you hit them (Call of Duty BO3)
16. I plant claymores on the ground but they only seem to explode when an enemy walks in front of them (Call of Duty MW3)
17. My teammates don’t get injured when I shoot them (Call of Duty)
18. In stealth missions, if I stand while in front of an enemy I get detected. If I go prone instead I’m completely invisible.
19. When I strike an enemy from behind but they survive, they will not notice me unless I haven’t moved from the point where I struck them (Breath of the Wild)
20. In all platformer games, every character seems to be able to jump to a height several times their own.
21. Infinite stamina? (all new Call of Duty games; platformers)
22. When throwing a thrown grenade back, the character wastes time positioning their arm instead of trying to throw it back ASAP like a normal person (Call of Duty)
23. Ball possessor was always faster than defenders (literally every FIFA game before FIFA 19)
24. You can play a match and get a player severely injured but hit the restart button or rematch button and the player will be good as new literally 10 minutes after the injury (FIFA)
25. Eating food can cure all wounds (Team Fortress; Breath of the Wild; etc.)
26. Infinite lung capacity when swimming and zero scope sway whatsoever with a sniper rifle? (Counter-Strike 1.6)
27. Sniper rifles with sights like a conventional assault rifle or SMG? (Call of Duty BO3)
28. Akimbo guns have perfect aim (Call of Duty)
29. Two enemies are standing together, I kill one with a sniper while the other is looking in such a way that their teammate and me are both in the field of vision and it’s a headshot and there’s a bloody explosion but the one who didn’t get killed literally doesn’t notice (Call of Duty)
30. In certain games, a path can literally be blocked by a fallen piece of bamboo or something.
31. The boundary of the map is a 2-foot tall fence but I can’t vault over it.
32. A locked fence gate blocks the path. The character is physically able to climb over the gate but an invisible force field that everything except the character seems to be able to cross blocks the way. Oh well, guess I need the key…
33. My character has four hearts. There’s a tall cliff that will take three hearts if I jump off and hit the bottom. But if I try, the character supposedly falls out of the world until I’ve completed a quest. Excuse me wtf? (Breath of the Wild)
34. Soldiers have side quests for me to take out some weak monster.
35. In shooters, lower difficulty AIs will wait a second or two after putting their crosshair on you before actually shooting.
36. I have to board a flying ship. But when I try to go to it from a high spot, I fall right through it. Later, when I do a main quest, the ship is perfectly solid and instead of ignoring me like the first time, it actually starts shooting me! (Breath of the Wild)
37. Infinite space for random items but limited space for weapons, shields, and bows (Breath of the Wild)
38. To kill someone with a pistol you literally have to empty the entire magazine, whereas IRL one well aimed shot is enough (Call of Duty)
39. If I get a paint job, the cops don’t recognize my car, even from the license plate (Need For Speed)
40. Regular soldiers have no idea how to swim, but this one girl can swim and even blow up ships without hurting herself (Command and Conquer Red Alert 2)

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