Wii U Troll Review
2Hello guys, girls and animals, it is the troll here and i am back with a review of the nintendo wii u. I dont know how the text in my brain will sound when i convert it into speech but one think i know is that nintendo should stop giving their games consoles dumb as fuck names. Here in the UK nintendo limits the purchase of 18+ age rated titles, the equivalent of mature in the US to between 11pm and 3am. What nintendo does is assume that because we live in europe we are all german and wish to try and take over the whole world, this is racist on nintendos part and not true. Whilst i am on the subject of the nintendo store, to play wii games you have to open a seperate menu which opens a wii dashboard, why would it have been so hard to just have wii games run from the wii u front end? On the same subject why cannot you use the wii u game pad as a pro controller when playing original wii game? The whole system just smacks of lazy programming to me. Talking of original wii games, you will need some, apart from new super mario bros. wii and a couple of other titles, the games available to buy now consist of rehashes of games that have been out on the main consoles for months already. Seriously, what kind of gamer has only owned a wii for the past few years? The wii was a depressing console to own solely, after the gimmick wore off and third party support started to dwindle you were just left with pathetic party games to few and far between first party releases.
Much is said about nintendos new fangled tablet style gamepad, however i think it sucks, it feels ok in your hands when playing a game the conventional way, however once a game asks you to hold the game pad in a portrait position as opposed to the regular landscape position, all comfort is thrown out of the window, with wrongly positioned prongs bulges and buttons to ache your hands. The screen on the game pad is washed out and looks pathetic compared to even the cheapest tablet devices on the market today, its resistive touch mechanism is also unresponsive and will have you reaching for the included stylus. I dont actually mind the fact that the wii u game pad has its own power lead but i do not see the point in the cradle included in the premium pack for the device, if you want to play the console for any amount of time you will need to have the power adaptor plugged into the pad and not the cradle! also on the subject of power adaptors, why the fuck do nintendo insist in giving is disgusting and drab looking external power bricks that are coloured grey? Is the console grey? No, is the game pad grey? No, so why the fuck are the leads grey? My theory is that the nintendo designers have nothing grey between their ears, not even mentioning the fact that they couldn't even design the system to work with more than one wii u game pad from the off. Talking about the lack of support to use more than one gamepad brings me to updates, if you buy this system get ready for updates, they take the piss, some people saying that updating took them around 5 hours, it was more like a couple for me fortunately, however long updates always concern me, 5 hours would certainly conceivable that a power cut could occur, something that i am sure could ultimately kill a consoles operating system whilst it is in full update flow.
As a serial youtube user i am yet again irritated by another badly designed youtube app which assumes that you are just a brain dead muppet who consumes whatever video garbage is fed to them. When I visit youtube i want to be able to go to channel pages, browse videos from the channels i frequent, i want freedom, youtube on the wii u puts me in what feels like a box, where i cannot access any videos that are disabled for mobile viewing, though i cannot remember the last time one of my home games consoles went for a walk.
You should not even get me started on the pack in travesty that is nintendoland, i had to pay extra for the privilege of having a collection of shit mini games, you play said mini games to earn coins, the utimate culmination of attaining coins is to receive a load of pointless crap unlockables that have no point for existing whatsoever. Some of the mini games even require original wii controllers, what a great introduction to a brand new system, shitty old controllers!
Decent graphics are, let's face it, essential for a gaming system and whilst the wii u nearly delivers, for me it doesn't impress. Essentially the graphics are on par with it's rivals, however the problem is in the glitching i have witnessed on the gamepad and on the tv, dropping frames at times, it just does not seem to work solidly for me, i just feel like the tablet functionality needs to be flawless for the wii u to be a great system.
Similar to the wii u, i was an early adopter of the ps3 and the ps3 left me wanting more, all the wii u leaves me wanting is somebody willing take it off me for a decent price!