BALDUR'S GATE 3 BLIND HUMAN RANGER SEXY NUDE PART 130
0baldur's gate 3 (MADE BY belgians, TAKE WHAT YOU WILL FROM THIS FACT) IS. THEE! WORST!!!!! GAME I HAVE EVER PLAYED IN MY ENTIRE LIFE (FULL-EXPERIENCE)
SOMEONE MIGHT BE ASKING: "well why did you complete then if it's so bad"
STFU. STFU. THAT'S ALMOST LIKE COVERING-FOR OR MAKING-EXCUSES-FOR SLOPPY DEMENTED GAME-DESIGN, BUT TO ANSWER THE QUESTION MORE DIRECTLY, poor shck ALREADY PAID FULL-PRICE FOR THIS AND! OBVIOUSLY HAD I KNOWN WAYYYY BACK- LETS SAY BY PART 5 THAT THIS WAS 131 PARTS OF SWIMMING IN belgian feces, I OBVIOUSLY WOULD NOT HAVE BOUGHT IT, DOES THAT MAKE SENSE? THERE'S ALREADY BEEN AN INVESTMENT WHICH! BRINGS ME TO MY NEXT POINT:
THE MAIN THING- THE MAIN 2 THINGS THAT WERE FRONT-OF-MIND THROUGHOUT THIS PAINFUL-EXPERIENCE, WAS THE pothead overweight AND/OR unable-to-lift-40-pound pothead gamers EJACULATING THIS GAME ORGASMING ABOUT HOW THIS - WHAT WAS IT AGAIN? LIKE "bg3 has set the bar for this genre" YIGH!!!! YIGH!!!
AND: THE DEMENTED belgian TRYING TO BE FUN AND COMICAL ON THE WHOLE (no devs! that's not how to dev things! you should smell my beglian fart and how it is!)
NOW, LETS TALK ABOUT MORE CONCRETE- OK LETS JUST START WITH THE FINAL SCORE (WHICH, AGAIN I HAVE ACTUALLY ASKED MYSELF IF I AM BEING OVERDRAMATIC AND IT IS NO):
baldur's gate 3 RECEIVES A FINAL SCORE OF 1.8/10.
ONE POINT EIGHT OUT OF 10: IN NO PARTICULAR ORDER:
- - - THE GAME (ALBEIT 5 PLUS YEARS IN DEVELOPMENT??? IS THIS TRUE belgians??? WTF????) WAS TO THEIR OWN ADMISSION MADE 'INCOMPLETE'; THE GAME IS STILL 'BEING WORKED ON' (AGAIN I CANNOT SHAKE OFF THE FIRST POINT I MADE ABOUT THE pothead basement dwellers) AND- AND MOST PPL PROBABLY DIDN'T CATCH THIS BUT I DID- IN SEPTEMBER 2023 STEAM NOTED THAT larian "FIXED" 1,000PLUS BUGS!!!!
- - - WAY TOO MANY OBSESSING OVER THEIR OWN FARTS LEAVING BEHIND JOURNALS AND ITEMS TO SCAVENGE (THEY SHOULD HAVE SPENT LESS TIME ON THIS AND MORE ON MAKING A PROPER LESS-BUGGY GAME
- - - LOAD SCREENS FAR EXCESSIVE [IM REALIZING NOW, AND THIS SHOULD BE INTUITIVE BC IT IS BY FAR THE WORST GAME IN HISTORY THAT I MIGHT NOT EVEN HAVE ENOUGH SPACE TO GET THROUGH THIS WHOLE THING]
- - - - ON A RELATED NOTE, THE COMBAT SYSTEM IS EXTREMELY SLOPPY AND INCOMPLETE AND FRANKLY, HERE WE ARE IN 2023 AND I KNOW FOR A FACT THAT PREDECESSORS WITH UHHH 'PAST-GEN' SYSTEMS AND PLATFORMS HAVE DONE A FAR BETTER JOB; SO NOT ONLY DID larian belgians DO A SLOPPY LAZY COPY-PASTE JOB IN EVERYTHING EXCEPT FOR MAYBE THE STORYLINE, THEY DID AN EVEN! WORSE! JOB!!! LIKE HOW??
- - - - - FAR FAR FFFFARRR TOO MANY 'GOTCHA' MOMENTS: FOR EXAMPLE, YOU STEP INTO UH LETS SAY AN 'ARENA' AND YOU SEE 5 ENEMIES, THEN belgian diarrhea farts BASICALLY PRODUCE 10 MORE FROM LIKE BACKDOORS AND CEILINGS; THIS IS NOT LIKE THE YOU KNOW THE 'OH, OK SHT IS GETTING REAL AND FUN!' TYPE OF FUN ITS ALMOST A KIND OF MALICIOUS DEMENTED-TYPE (SO AGAIN, WHY DO THIS AND FORCE PPL TO SAVE-LOAD-WAIT3-MINUTES-ACTION-SAVE-LOAD-WAIT-3-MINUTES' IN PERPETUITY
- - - - - - IN ORDER TO COMPENSATE FOR LAZY SLOPPY GAME DESIGN AND DEVELOPMENT, THEY OVERWHELM WITH DIFFERENT SCROLLS,ITEMS,WEAPONS,ETC.
- - - - - MAPPING (IN OTHER WORDS ESP WHEN YOU EXIT AND LOAD FROM THE MENU) TAKES AT LEAST 4 MINUTES TO FULLY CONSTRUCT THE LAYOUT (BUILDINGS ROOMS WALLS ETC)
- - - - - - IT SEEMS LIKE IM BEING REDUNDANT BUT IT DESERVES ITS OWN LINE: ! OH WAIT BEFORE THAT I JUST REMEMBERED: IF I WERE TO DO A BREAKDOWN OF TIME SPENT IN THE TOTALITY OF THIS belgian feces experience IT WOULD LOOK SOMETHING LIKE: 50%(!!) SCAVENGING ITEMS (YES MOST ARE RANDOM MENIAL OBJECTS BUT YOU DON'T WANNA MISS SOMETHING IMPORTANT)
25%(!!) TRAVELING
15% TALKING AND TALKING AND TALKING AND TALKING AND TALKING
5% INVENTORY MANAGEMENT (SLOPPY larian DID NOT PUT IN A FUNCTION TO SELL ITEMS ON-THE-SPOT INSTEAD YOU GOTTA FIND A MERCHANT ETC.) ON A RELATED NOTE, THERE HAVE BEEN DEVS AT LEAST 5 YEARS AGO WHO HAD THE DECENCY TO PUT IN A 'ROLLBACK' FUNCTION AND THOSE GAMES WERE 90% LESS 'GOTCHA-MOMENTS' THAN bg3 DOES THAT MAKE SENSE? SO LOAD-WAIT-3-MINUTES-LOAD-WAIT-3-MINUTES
THE REMAINING 5%(!!!!!) OF THIS 100PLUS HOUR GAME (WOULD BE FAR LESS IF NOT FOR THE LOAD-3-MINS SITUATION) IS COMBAT! WHICH AS I'VE SAID IS DONE VERY SLOPPY AND LAZILY
belgians AT larian OR WHATEVER NEED TO THE FUQK UP AND DEVELOP A GAME PROPERLY B4 THEY ACT ALL POMPOUS
SO RIGHT THERE YOU MIGHT AS WELL BINGE ON A HULU MOVIE OR SOMETHING BC ALL YOU'RE DOING IS CLICKING AND HEARING PPL TALK
PERHAPS THE ONLY PLUS: SHADOWHEART IS VERY VERY VARY FINE, BUT IN THE GRAND SCHEME OF THINGS?
MY METHODOLOGY IS SIMPLE: I HAVE A 'RANGE' AND, FOR EXAMPLE I'LL TRY TO REMEMBER WHAT A 4.0 'FELT-LIKE' THEN ILL EITHER GO: (WAS [subject] MORE SHITTY OR LESS SHITTY THAN [COMPARABLE]?) AND GO UP OR DOWN THAT WAY AND I CAN TELL YOU NO BEE ES NO EXAGGERATION A 4.0 (I DON'T THINK I'VE EVER RATED LOWER) WAS DRAMATICALLY LESS SHITTY AND STRESSFUL (NOT THE SOULSBORNE-STRESSFUL BUT THE sloppy-lazy-dev-design) THAN belgian feces baldur's gate 3!
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